A pirate walks into a baaaarrrrr... OTA and backdated

[funnythingsare]

Tony didn't remember falling asleep after playing dress-up. But here he was, standing in front of the mirror, in a frilly hat and an eyepatch and, he had to admit, a pretty nice jacket, if you were into that whole period piece thing. Funny part was, every time he tried to change, the items would mysteriously reassert themselves when he wasn't noticing.

But he had things to do, and places to be, and future tech to research and rip off, so he went with it. If the effect was more than a little Pirates of the Caribbean, he hadn't noticed. He knew Johnny Depp, of course, but that didn't mean he wasted his time with Disney movies.

One problem, though--the eyepatch. He kept almost running into people and things. And the damn thing would not come off.

"How does Fury do it?" he muttered to himself as he gave up on schematics for the time being and went into Ten Forward.

Now the rum, he could possibly get used to. Not his drink of choice but weren't they all, in a way?

Comments

[writes_with_digital_ink]

Gaila had been slumped over a table. Properly slummed, forehead on the table and arms on her head, as if she could hide from everything. Or, possibly, protect her brain.

It's been that kind of shift.

The only reason she's in Ten Forward to begin with is that she heard rumours of real alcohol, and for that, she'll put up with everything. Even being stuck with a ridiculous human idea of a pirate's coat over her grey uniform that she can't take off (thanks, Q).

But first, before article, she slumped. And groaned.

And then someone bumps her.

"Oi!" she says, turning around in her seat. Then she stops. Dressed up like a human pirate.

"New eye-patch?"

[funnythingsare]

Tony squints, focusing on her. His visible eye then widens as some interesting thoughts dart through his brain. First of, all, he's never met anyone green before. Second?

He hadn't really ever asked himself if that'd be hot or not, but the unasked question has now been answered.

"My bad," he says. "Can't take the thing off. I promise, nothing gross under there. Just, uh..." He looks down at her coat. "I guess I'm just the lucky one, then."

[writes_with_digital_ink]

"Could be because you're new," Gaila suggests with a wry smile. "Fresh meat, and all of that, because Q likes playing pranks on people. Although it's not exactly predictable yet who he pranks and who he doesn't. He's a bit whimsical."

She speaks fast, does Gaila, and doesn't seem out of breath, either.

Instead, she offers the man her hand. "Hi. Ensign Gaila betIlley."

[funnythingsare]

If a very attractive green-skinned red head is prepared to be friendly, Tony is prepared to try to be a gentleman. Or his version, anyway. "Tony Stark," he says, shaking her hand. And okay, staring a little. "No rank. Though I guess I could make one up, if that would be more impressive."

[writes_with_digital_ink]

"Nah, I'm surrounded by ranks all day. I mean, unless it's a really, really impressive one, or an entertaining one, I'd take entertaining."

She can be easily amused.

"Nice to meet you, Tony Stark. How you finding it all?"

[funnythingsare]

"Being flung into a future with tech I can only dream of which I can't use? About how you'd expect."

That, of course, depends on what one expects, which can be hard to figure with him. Basically, he thinks it'd all be very interesting if he hadn't suddenly lost all control over his life.

[writes_with_digital_ink]

"So...swinging between complete excitement and delight, and also a fair amount of terror and fish outta water-ness?" she supplies.

That's about how she'd react, anyway, if she was flung that far into the future.

[funnythingsare]

"I'm more of a dolphin," Tony says, because he is not a fish. "What about you? You one of these future commies, or whatever?"

[writes_with_digital_ink]

"No idea what a commie is!" Gaila says, cheerfully. Or at least, outwardly cheerful.

Commie?

"But, from the future, yes and no, I'm from a hundred years ago, and a universe over, as far as this timeline is concerned. More future than not compared to others from Earth, anyway."

[orions_shadow]

There was a lion on the couch in the bar, Tony. An eye cracked open to watch the new commer as as a parrot preened its beak into his mane. He didn't seem to mind, nor did he seem to be effected by whatever mayhem what was going on around the place while they were docked here.

Perhaps Q figured that he was already pirate enough, having come from an island known for hosting hoards of pirates in their day. Probably a descendant of pirates himself.

A soft chuckle, that sounds more like a rumble or series of huffs is emitted from him as the man tries to compensate for lack of depth perception.

"We got some literal space pirates now?"

[funnythingsare]

Tony has to turn almost all the way around to get his, ah, 'good' eye on the kid. Or cat. Or... he blinks.

"That weirder than a literal Thundercat?" he asks.

[orions_shadow]

"What's a Thundercat?" Yes, Tony. This kid is completely and utterly cultural reference dumb. What're you going to do?

[stark_spangled]

Great. When Natasha had broken the news to Steve that Stark had found his way to the Enterprise, he had hoped they would cross paths under better circumstances. First there had been the Klingons, then the cleanup that happened afterwards, and Steve had managed to keep missing him until now. Naturally.

At least he's not the only one in a ridiculous outfit, though if you ask him he got the short end of the stick. His pants are definitely too small, his linen tunic is flashing nipple every time he moves, there are beads in his hair and makeup on his face and if Stark is Johnny Depp, then that would make him Orlando Bloom.

Great.

"The secret is he has eyes everywhere," he calls from a table near the bar. Laugh if you want, he's already come up with three retorts if it comes to it, and he has Natasha's ferocious space dog with him. Not that Spike has ever given any indication he has a violent bone in his furry body, but he is looking particularly menacing today. "I'm surprised you're not in Main Engineering taking everything apart."

He's surprised he hasn't already been brigged for trying to take everything apart. There is really not enough rum in the quadrant to get him through the rest of today.

[funnythingsare]

"Funny thing," Tony says, turning at the familiar voice, "but they keep stopping me. I mean, not that--" He stops short, staring alternately between Long John Stars and Stripes and his... weird unicorn dog.

Grabbing his rum, Tony slides off the stool and struts over, pulling a chair out and sitting across it backwards. "You," he says with some glee, "are giving that Kirk guy a run for his money. Bar wench!" he calls out, raising his glass. "Another round for an' me hearty, here."

[stark_spangled]

Yep, he knew this was a bad idea. In the space between Tony's surprised incredulity and glee, Steve simultaneously tenses and stifles a cockeyed smirk. It's hard to say whether he feels more exasperation at what is bound to be a long night of one-liners, or pride that he -- for a moment, anyway -- rendered Stark speechless.

He pinches the bridge of his nose, palm flattening out as it drags down his face. Is that a goatee? More importantly, is it real by some feat of instantaneous hair growth or is it painted on in the style of Errol Flynn?

"You're forgetting that I can't get drunk, even though it's the real stuff," he mutters, almost as if he wishes he could. Maybe he does. It would make this a lot easier, at any rate. "And you look just as ridiculous."

It actually kind of suits him, but hell will freeze over before Steve admits that one.

[funnythingsare]

"Me? I look amazing. Besides, I think you just haven't tried hard enough. Or long enough."

Tony waggles an eyebrow at the possible double meaning.

"Besides it'd be really rude not to even try while I'm swilling it down, so have a heart. And while you're at it, tell me what the hell's going on around here and who's behind it."

The last comment comes with a deceptively casual tone, as Tony knocks another back.

[stark_spangled]

Steve arches one impressive penciled-in eyebrow.

"And I suppose you're gonna be the one to change all that?" Yep, breezing right past that double meaning as if it never existed. After a while, you have to pick and choose your battles. "Then again, if I was rude it would ruin that goody two-shoes mental picture you have of me, so we can't have that."

Steve thanks the barkeep (not wench, not maid), and takes the fresh glass of rum in hand. Spike wags his tail expectantly from his perch beside Steve's chair, which just makes him wonder what Natasha has been giving him. "It's a holiday. One I've never heard of, but that doesn't seem to slow the guy down at all. Q, the one behind all of us being here, likes to pull up obscure celebrations and forcibly make us attend."

He raises his glass, tone as dry as champagne.

"Fun, right?"

[funnythingsare]

Tony wonders if there's any other kind of mental image to have of Steve, but he keeps that to himself for once. Because this Q guy...

"He sounds awesome. No, I mean like, it'd be awesome to be him. I mean other than not being asked... this is pretty funny." Tony took a deep drink. "And by 'this' I mean 'you.' Also, when did you get a..." Tony frowned, peering at the thing next to Steve. "A space lizard pirate dog?"