Unhealed Demons

[redarrowqueen]

Who: Thea Queen, OTA
Where: Holodeck
When: During Halloween Event
Warnings: Major trigger warnings for events of "Broken Arrow", past addiction and death of Sara Lance. Plus a very on the emotional edge Thea.



Thea had been waging war with ghosts of her past, mostly Sara Lance given her part (however not her fault due to Malcolm's hand in things) in the former Black Canary's passing. Add in her past as an addict and ongoing nightmares of Ra's Al Ghul and she was back in the holodeck shooting her demons away, it made sense when not much else did and calmed her enough to actually sleep.

Only tonight was different.

She was using a routine training program when she swore she was hearing the voice of her fallen friend. "Anyone see the hot sauce?" the voice called. A tiny smile escaped as Thea called,"Sara? That you?" hoping it was her friend alive and in one piece. But that was when a flying knife zipped past the archer. The knife being thrown by one Ra's Al Ghul out to finish what he had started not too long ago. "This time the shoe is on my foot and you will pay!" as Thea cocked a shot and sent an arrow flying towards the sound.

She was basically waging a one woman war against nothing, the sounds of her fallen friend and family enemy overwhelming Thea fast and hard. But she kept shooting till she was out of arrows (knowing she could gather them up) and low on adrenaline.

That was when she saw Sara go off the ledge all over again and heard one threat from Ra's Al Ghul.

"Next time you won't win. Maybe I'll shoot the drugs into you myself."

When Thea realized she was alone she quickly gathered the arrows before the dam broke.

She was crying.

She also had one hand on her bow, if Ra's Al Ghul did return she was going to fight back.

Comments

[fishermansweater]

Finnick hadn't realized that there was anyone in the holodeck until he stepped in and found a program already running. He was about to back away and leave whoever's here to their program and their privacy when he heard the sound of sobbing from somewhere in the holodeck.

When he moved forward, he tried to make his steps audible; Thea may not be a victor, may not be Katniss, but he knew better than to startle a clearly upset woman holding a weapon.

"Thea," he said, quietly, once he was closer. His hands were in his pockets, his posture forcibly relaxed, far more that of the sensuous playboy than the victor.

[redarrowqueen]

Thea cocked her arrow, knowing Ra's Al Ghul could return at any moment. She finally could speak,"Convince me you are not Ra's Al Ghul, convince me you won't shoot drugs into me!" But the sooner she had a hand off the bow the sooner she would realize it was not him, she had been tricked into thinking her enemy had followed her.

But the arrows she shot at what she felt was her enemy was proof something had happened.

[fishermansweater]

He'd stared down the length of an arrow on Katniss Everdeen's bow at the Cornucopia and seen the urge to shoot in her eyes. He may not have known Thea as well as he'd known Katniss then (albeit known her through careful study of her every television appearance in the weeks leading up to the Games rather than by actually speaking with her), but he did know her reaction.

Finnick stayed still, hands still in his pockets, though he'd tensed to move if he had to.

Not that he could actually move fast enough to outrun an arrow, or to take her out before she could shoot, not with his trident left in his room, but he might be able to move quickly enough to disrupt her aim.

"I wouldn't drug anyone against their will," he replied, his voice calm but firm.

[redarrowqueen]

That one statement was what broke the spell, Thea's hand came off her bow as a fresh wave of tears hit. She got out,"Ex addict, reformed party girl. Ra's Al Ghul was trying to finish me off and threatened to shoot me up." forgetting only a small hndful knew what had happened when she had been winked onboard. For now she held the part about seeing Sara close, only a few would really get that part of what happened.

[fishermansweater]

It was an entirely true statement. It had been suggested, when Annie was breaking down on her victory tour, and it wasn't uncommon for mentors and escorts to drug their victors to get them through the tour. Just enough to help them sleep, help them function, but Finnick had had more than enough of drugs to know they should be your own choice.

(Of the many times he'd taken drugs since his victory, only some of them were by his choice.)

"In my world, everyone knows I'm a playboy," he said, with a nod, and bent, carefully, to pick up one of Thea's spent arrows. As he straightened, he kept hold of the arrow, though he now doubted he'd have any call for a weapon to protect himself.

Call it a victor's habit: find the weapons in any room, arm yourself when you need to.

"I was never an addict, but drugs tend to go with the lifestyle."

[redarrowqueen]

"Let's just say I was angry at the universe for a few years." Thea confessed. "Only way I could drown my feelings was though drugs, my thing was pills and booze but had moments of going after the harder stuff when things got too much." more shocked she was coming clean. "I drowned through parties and going wild, nobody really understood what I was feeling." but she needed this, coming clean was part of the process. "My biggest fear is a relapse since I'm going on 3 years clean."

[fishermansweater]

"Sounds familiar."

He'd never been an addict, but he did know the feeling that only pills or booze or 'the harder stuff' -- in his case, morphling -- would make the world hurt less. He'd seen plenty of his patrons while he was high on the pills so ubiquitous at Capitol parties, and some of them while he was high on morphling, too.

"Well done getting out of it. I know a lot of people who never did."

And two who would never have the chance, now, because Snow's treachery in sending victors back into the arena had killed them.

[redarrowqueen]

The smallest of smiles escaped, but it was a smile. "Thanks, I know its a daily fight to not slip into the old me and you're right. Some of us in the dark never find the light." Thea was honest. But she had been able to drown her emotions via pills and bottle, it made the world less painful. "Still scared of slipping, being stabbed when I got pulled here can trigger the fears."

[fishermansweater]

His eyes were keen as he watched her, her reactions. He wasn't used to this level of openness; victors tended to dance around their issues rather than admit them out loud, even to each other. No matter how many of them they had, or the fact that they all knew that each of them had their own demons to face. Finnick had never fallen into one vice in answer to them, the way morphling addicts and alcoholics had, though those who didn't know his secrets would have said he'd turned to sensual pleasure to lose himself.

He tapped the arrow against his hand and kept staring at her for a few long moments more, a stare of such sharp, bright green that he knew it was unsettling to most people.

"I know what it's like to feel like drugs and drink are the only things that can make it possible to keep going. I don't know if it ever gets easier, but it's good you're finding other ways."

He looked down at the arrow in his hand.

"Do you think the holodeck malfunctioned? Made this R'as Al Ghul appear?"

[redarrowqueen]

"It never does." Thea mused,"I'm going on 3 years and still have those royally bad days where its tempting to hit the bottle or find some pills. But its knowing someone has my back now, knowing I'm not alone in the dark." thinking of Oliver and Felicity to name a few. She through,"Maybe? I was using the same program I always use to train and nothing seemed amiss till I heard her voice." thinking of Sara. "The knife flew by soon after."

[student_lighter]

Chris had orbed himself outside the holodeck. He was pretty sure that whoever this charge was, they had never met. And he really didn't want to orb in there and be all 'hey guess what? I'm your whitelighter, so stop crying.' Really wouldn't work. So, he took a tip from his Dad, and didn't say anything.

He opened the holodeck doors, and went inside. "My name's Chris," he said as softly as he could while still letting his voice fill the room. "Everyone's kind of going nuts out there. Are you alright?"

[redarrowqueen]

Thea kept one hand on her bow out of habit, she could not chance another attempt at this point. "Thea." she finally chocked out through the waves of tears. "Ra's Al Ghul was after me again." she tried to explain,"Also saw a friend die for the second time." the only way she could talk about Sara.

[student_lighter]

"I know. Well, not about that, but it's happening all over the ship. It's not real. Someone's messing with your mind. What do you say you put down the bow? I promise no one is going to get you, and no one is going to die. Not if I can help it."

Chris took a couple of steps forward."You can't kill ghosts or memories Thea. Not with a bow."

[redarrowqueen]

Thea could not bring herself to take her hand off the bow, but she did lower her weapon and stance to show she could trust him (at least some). "My bow means I can fight back." she finally could speak. "It means he can't hurt me again." but she was starting to come out of the adrenaline fueled haze.

[student_lighter]

Yeah he was getting that a lot. People not wanting to let go of their weapons, despite the fact that they were fighting things that weren't real.

"I understand that." It was a mental crutch, a way to prove to herself that she was stronger than her fear. "But just be careful. Check yourself before you fire it. You might not be firing at the person you think you are."

[redarrowqueen]

"Fair enough." Thea had gained some sense of self and knew to look before letting an arrow fly. Her emotions however were off the charts raw, reliving Sara's death was bad enough but Ra's Ah Ghul made things worse.