Never is too strong. Mixbreeds were born from time to time. But they were reviled. Considered mongrels. Hunted down. Ferreted out. Taken away. Born from Sebacean's without service or dedication to keep them true. Outer colonists. Deluded fools. Those not like her and those she'd served with from birth. Born pure. Raised pure. Eating, sleeping, and believing in the doctrine for genetic purity as well as every other.
Crais might have slandered her record and exiled her with false accusations of being "Irreversibly Contaminated" for defending John's idiocy and incapability in killing his brother. But she'd been the one to do this. A needle in the eye twice. Making her blink, too fast. She could still hear her own voice I wanted him to find me a place where I could belong. I didn't want to get left behind. I'm so scared.
Which was the cowards way of lying. Saying anything but that she'd been so very, very stupid.
But she had the choice not to be again. It was what soldiers were supposed to do. Learn, and adapt.
Which is why Aeryn's hand snaps out viper fast and hard when the instrument grazes her, catching the doctor's hand and dragging it from her skin, while she's pushing off the bed, and twisting to push him toward it, block him against it, while saying. "No." A hard, fast order. But it's not at him, even when it's inches from his face. It's at Namtar, and herself, and letting it happen again. One pinprick. One promise. That would cost her everything she was. Again.
no subject
Crais might have slandered her record and exiled her with false accusations of being "Irreversibly Contaminated" for defending John's idiocy and incapability in killing his brother. But she'd been the one to do this. A needle in the eye twice. Making her blink, too fast. She could still hear her own voice I wanted him to find me a place where I could belong. I didn't want to get left behind. I'm so scared.
Which was the cowards way of lying. Saying anything but that she'd been so very, very stupid.
But she had the choice not to be again. It was what soldiers were supposed to do. Learn, and adapt.
Which is why Aeryn's hand snaps out viper fast and hard when the instrument grazes her, catching the doctor's hand and dragging it from her skin, while she's pushing off the bed, and twisting to push him toward it, block him against it, while saying. "No." A hard, fast order. But it's not at him, even when it's inches from his face. It's at Namtar, and herself, and letting it happen again. One pinprick. One promise. That would cost her everything she was. Again.