ten_fwd | Darkness Of The Heart

Entry tags:

Darkness Of The Heart

Who: Luna Lovegood, planned for Merlin but OTA otherwise
Where: Ten Forward
When: During Halloween Event
Warnings: Major trigger warnings for what happened in Malfoy Manor.

After classes Luna was perched in her usual spot in Ten Forward, one overlooking a window since she had found the stars a source of solace. Plus the people watching was perfect since she could see everything without feeling too nosy.

But this time things felt different.

Luna had passed off the first few moments, mostly since she was used to odd via things like the house ghosts back at Hogwarts. But this time was different.

That was when the first flash of memory hit.

She was back in Malfoy Manor and was being punched in the face by a Death Eater. "Spill or we keep punching!" the voice hissed in her ear. But Luna never wavered so the punches kept coming. At least this time it was only a truckload of bruises but as the memory overwhelmed the teen a few stray tears escaped. That was when a pair of flashes hit: one of Dobby being hurt and one of her being abused by a pair of Death Eaters. She was whimpering,"You're just as sane as I am, you're just as sane as I am, you're just as sane as I am." over and over in an attempt to regain her footing.

But the memories were just too much this time around and she looked very ready to get sick. Which given her ongoing recovery was not helping things at all...

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Luna was someone Merlin wanted to look in on, and since the last month had been crazy, he had even more reason to do so. When he arrived in Ten Forward today, it was after already wading through ghosts who wanted to kill, maim, murder, and haunt him. If not for the fact that he had done such before, he knew he would not be in good shape.

In fact, his face was red, his eyes puffy, and rage and sorrow fought for his face as he stalked into Ten Forward, eyes glittering gold to black to red. People twice his size took one look at his face and moved out of his way, and he encountered no problems until he saw Luna. Then with a snarl, he charged.

"Excalibrias!" Light flared around him and her, and obscured them from the crowd. "Luna!" He knelt at her side, one hand reaching out slowly, in plain sight. "Luna, it's Merlin. You're on the Enterprise. Can you hear me?"

Luna had a death grip on her wand, ready to go into what someone at Hogwarts termed a "Cast and Blast". But when her brain made her realize it was only Merlin she nodded,"Loud and clear." making a weak attempt at humor. But her eyes spoke more than words could, something had triggered the witch and triggered her badly. As a second line of defense she whispered,"Patronus!" as the little hare hopped onto a protecting stance. But the little hare knew Merlin was a friend thankfully.

Merlin gently clasped her shoulder, and smiled at the hare. "You're safe, no matter what is going on. I won't let anything hurt you." His voice spoke softly, and surely, and confidence was on his face.

He stayed close, not too close, but not retreating either.

"You're seeing ghosts?"

"Patronus charm." Luna explained,"Its like a line of protection but I've seen them used to warn others of problems and the like too. Mine is a hare since its also supposed to mirror its caster." she added. And Luna could only nod at Merlin's question,"Ghosts, I was reliving what happened in the Manor." the only way she could explain the truth about being tortured.

Merlin nodded, and smiled. "Ah-ha. Intriguing magic. we should talk on it later, yes?"

he peered at her. "You, a hare? Did not anyone ever see you were a lion?" He shook his head. What fools these mortals were!

Merlin winced at her words, and nodded. "Then come with me. There is tea, and soup, and hot bread, and hugs, and you can surround yourself with them, against all the darkness of the universes."

"Of course." Luna cracked a tiny smile at Merlin's idea. "No idea to be honest why I'm a hare, its like the Patronus picks the person." she attempted to explain the charm. But she let Merlin help her up,"Tea actually sounds lovely." she could smile a little more. But the sooner she started talking about the manor the better, the flashes had tossed her back to square one mentally.

Gently, he escorted her to a small table, and tea began to float to them, a set old and blue and shimmering with age.

Merlin smiled softly. "Obviously it chose you because it knew it would be safe under your protection."

He nodded as they reached the table. "Please, sit. No one and nothing will bother us here."

It took a minute but Luna does sit down. "You know portions but I locked what happened away to protect myself. Not many would understand since in my world there was a war going on." as tiny portions of what happened slipped into the open. She whispered,"Has just been rescured from the Death Eaters by my friends when this place grabbed me."

Merlin nodded. he listened and winced. "Rather terrible timing. I am sorry, my dear lady. I know of war and the dark things that occur in it, torture and worse. If someday, you wish to talk of it to me, then I will be here." He tapped her nose gently.

A tiny but real smile escaped Luna, she needed to hear that more than she knew. "You saw the ghosts aftermath but it still feels like yesterday. The nightmares are fast and furious to borrow from the muggles expression wise." she tried to explain. "But in time I know I need to reveal more of the manor."

he gently touched her shoulder, and then settled more. "Aye. An you will, when you will." He nodded.

Then he smiled a little.

"Perhaps I can help with the nightmares, at least a little.

"How so?" that curious spark coming back to Luna's eyes. "Because to be truthful I'm lucky to get maybe a few hours a night right now. That's how bad the nightmares have gotten." she confessed. "Food sort of has gone out the window too, I eat to keep people from asking questions."

"I am working on something. It's not done, and I don't want to get your hopes up yet, but soon, my friend."

He paused. "Though there is something i can do now, once in awhile. If you would be willing to sleep near me. Not in my bed or anything like that, but simply nearby, I can share part of my essence with you, and protect your mind, keep it more at ease. Too often and your mind might become addicted to it, but now and then, well, it can be done.'

"Of course." Luna nodded, she was willing to wait after all. She let Merlin's idea stew for a few minutes and decided,"Its something I am willing to consider if things get worse." but things were getting worse, anyone could see the witch was on a spiral by this point. She felt for her wand to make sure it was still in her hair,"I admit to using a few charms from my world in an attempt at keeping things at bay too."

Merlin nodded. "Nothing wrong with using magic. When and if you wish, I will aid thee.'

He nodded.

"But for now, would you like some tea?"

"Yes to tea." as a tiny smile escaped Luna. She was a believer in the idea of tea being the perfect cure all after all. She whispered,"Just felt so real, trying to regain control but its near impossible."

Merlin smiled, and from the shadows slipped a tea set, this one entirely of wood. It was carved carefully, exquisitely, and with gentle actions, each part set and treated so as to increase it's resistance to water, and to damage. But mostly for beauty and strength.

He gently poured tea, a fragrantly blueberry-smelling and yet-steaming liquid of a dark blue color, into two mugs as he spoke.

"Aye. It is not impossible, but it does take time, my friend. And that is hard to bear, i know. But sometimes, the only answer to how to get better, is time."

Luna took a wiff and a smile crept across the girl's face, tea was a reminder of home and of good things. She finally got it out into the open,"Then where do I even start? Because right now I feel like I'm drowning."

"In the little things. Do not try to force the dark feelings down, or push them out. Accept that they are in you, and from you. Only in acknowledging them can you begin to truly control them." Merlin nodded as he inhaled the scent himself.

Luna could only nod,"So in other words stop shoving and embrace my darkness? Easier said than done sometimes to be honest." But she did take a sip of her tea,"Just hard enough to even consider given how bad it is."

"Not embrace it so much as accept that it is within you. You do not have to be happy for it, or think it is okay." He shook his head.

"Sometimes, the hard paths are the only ones left to us."

"Honestly its a scary thing to think about." Luna was honest. "Accepting my demons is going to be hard but its got to happen in order to start the process."

"Change always is. But you are not alone in facing this." He gently squeezed one of her hands.

Luna was able to return Merlin's squeeze, "Then where do I start? Because in public I can hold it together but just barely it seems." she finally got the question into the open.

"By trying to give yourself a break as they say. By accepting that you are not okay, and that you need help, and that it might take time to get better." His words were gentle, compassionate.

Luna let the idea simmer for a few minutes before speaking,"Right now I am not ok, I am nowhere near ok. Can't keep fighting the ghosts alone."

Merlin nodded, smiling. "Then don't. You do not have to be alone." He offered her a more formal hand.

"If you are going to fight, then use all your resources."

Luna's smaller hand linked into Merlin's: a sign of trust. "Then time to plan an attack against the ghosts in my soul."

Merlin nodded. "Let's order something to eat, and then we can work on that. " He paused then nodded. "And maybe talk to Doctor Crusher. She is a wise woman, and compassionate. She might well have ideas and thoughts we do not."

"Fair enough." but this time Luna was able to smile a tiny bit more. "And every have Every Flavor Beans?" knowing she had a bag full in her coat pocket.

"I've not, no." He smiled at her. "Let's find a place to sit, eat, and then we can try those too." And with her at his side, he set out to do just that. And maybe just maybe make things a touch better.

As Luna fished the baggie of candy from her coat pocket she let Merlin take the lead. "Fair warning some of these are pretty awful, Fred and George would use those for prank tastings." able to smile a bit more at the memory of one such prank.

Chris orbed in. He was having trouble concentrating on who was where and who was in pain and freaking out. It felt like everyone was. There was too much pain and sadness and he couldn't differentiate it. Shaking a little, he checked on his charges one by one. After that, then he could deal with himself.But as long as they were tormented, he wouldn't get any rest either.

"Luna." Chris reached out a hand, not wanting to touch her without knowing what she was seeing, what she was going through.

"Luna, can you here me? It's Chris. You're safe."

Luna had been half in reality and half in the manor since the memory surges started. But when she heard Chris something tripped and she came out of the haze a bit more. "Too many ghosts, the manor." she was finally able to speak after what felt like hours (but was maybe a few minutes). But something within Luna knew she could trust Chris since they had been living together.

"I know. I'm trying to fix it. What do you say we go back to our room okay?" Chris didn't want her here, alone in Ten Forward, not quite seeing reality--and who knew what everyone around her was seeing. Best to separate them, until this all passed. Just in case.

"Everything's going to be okay. We're just going back to our room. No one can hurt you. I'm going to protect you, alright?"

"Ok." Luna almost whimpered, part of her was sure she was going back to the manor for another round of pain. But she somehow trusted enough to let Chris take her hand, knowing she could grab her wand if something did happen.

"I'm going to orb us there, alright? It's a kind of teleportation." Chris reached out to take her hand, orbing them both to the living room. He stepped aside, getting halfway into his room before he called out.

" Don't worry. I'm just going to get some crystals. I'll be right back." Grabbing his own replicated and charged pyrite crystals, Chris tossed them into a circle around Luna.

"There. You're safe now, alright? They shouldn't be able to get through." Okay, he wasn't entirely sure that was true. He wasn't even sure the laws of magic worked the same way here. He wasn't even sure there were actually ghosts around and everyone wasn't just bonkers.

Luna finally tucked her wand back into her hair, she was out of the manor (at least it felt that way). "Just felt too real, like I was back in the manor." she finally got out.

"Something's preying on us, on our memories. It's an illusion, a trick. " Chris kept an eye on the crystals. Depending on how powerful this thing was, they wouldn't hold for long, especially if whatever was out there was intent on attacking her. But so far, they were holding.

"Can I get you anything?"

"Maybe some tea?" Luna finally spoke. "Just felt like I was being beaten by the Death Eaters all over again." she whispered.

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Darkness Of The Heart

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