ten_fwd | Darkness Of The Heart

Who: Luna Lovegood, planned for Merlin but OTA otherwise
Where: Ten Forward
When: During Halloween Event
Warnings: Major trigger warnings for what happened in Malfoy Manor.

After classes Luna was perched in her usual spot in Ten Forward, one overlooking a window since she had found the stars a source of solace. Plus the people watching was perfect since she could see everything without feeling too nosy.

But this time things felt different.

Luna had passed off the first few moments, mostly since she was used to odd via things like the house ghosts back at Hogwarts. But this time was different.

That was when the first flash of memory hit.

She was back in Malfoy Manor and was being punched in the face by a Death Eater. "Spill or we keep punching!" the voice hissed in her ear. But Luna never wavered so the punches kept coming. At least this time it was only a truckload of bruises but as the memory overwhelmed the teen a few stray tears escaped. That was when a pair of flashes hit: one of Dobby being hurt and one of her being abused by a pair of Death Eaters. She was whimpering,"You're just as sane as I am, you're just as sane as I am, you're just as sane as I am." over and over in an attempt to regain her footing.

But the memories were just too much this time around and she looked very ready to get sick. Which given her ongoing recovery was not helping things at all...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Merlin nodded. he listened and winced. "Rather terrible timing. I am sorry, my dear lady. I know of war and the dark things that occur in it, torture and worse. If someday, you wish to talk of it to me, then I will be here." He tapped her nose gently.

A tiny but real smile escaped Luna, she needed to hear that more than she knew. "You saw the ghosts aftermath but it still feels like yesterday. The nightmares are fast and furious to borrow from the muggles expression wise." she tried to explain. "But in time I know I need to reveal more of the manor."

he gently touched her shoulder, and then settled more. "Aye. An you will, when you will." He nodded.

Then he smiled a little.

"Perhaps I can help with the nightmares, at least a little.

"How so?" that curious spark coming back to Luna's eyes. "Because to be truthful I'm lucky to get maybe a few hours a night right now. That's how bad the nightmares have gotten." she confessed. "Food sort of has gone out the window too, I eat to keep people from asking questions."

"I am working on something. It's not done, and I don't want to get your hopes up yet, but soon, my friend."

He paused. "Though there is something i can do now, once in awhile. If you would be willing to sleep near me. Not in my bed or anything like that, but simply nearby, I can share part of my essence with you, and protect your mind, keep it more at ease. Too often and your mind might become addicted to it, but now and then, well, it can be done.'

"Of course." Luna nodded, she was willing to wait after all. She let Merlin's idea stew for a few minutes and decided,"Its something I am willing to consider if things get worse." but things were getting worse, anyone could see the witch was on a spiral by this point. She felt for her wand to make sure it was still in her hair,"I admit to using a few charms from my world in an attempt at keeping things at bay too."

Merlin nodded. "Nothing wrong with using magic. When and if you wish, I will aid thee.'

He nodded.

"But for now, would you like some tea?"

"Yes to tea." as a tiny smile escaped Luna. She was a believer in the idea of tea being the perfect cure all after all. She whispered,"Just felt so real, trying to regain control but its near impossible."

Merlin smiled, and from the shadows slipped a tea set, this one entirely of wood. It was carved carefully, exquisitely, and with gentle actions, each part set and treated so as to increase it's resistance to water, and to damage. But mostly for beauty and strength.

He gently poured tea, a fragrantly blueberry-smelling and yet-steaming liquid of a dark blue color, into two mugs as he spoke.

"Aye. It is not impossible, but it does take time, my friend. And that is hard to bear, i know. But sometimes, the only answer to how to get better, is time."

Luna took a wiff and a smile crept across the girl's face, tea was a reminder of home and of good things. She finally got it out into the open,"Then where do I even start? Because right now I feel like I'm drowning."

"In the little things. Do not try to force the dark feelings down, or push them out. Accept that they are in you, and from you. Only in acknowledging them can you begin to truly control them." Merlin nodded as he inhaled the scent himself.

Luna could only nod,"So in other words stop shoving and embrace my darkness? Easier said than done sometimes to be honest." But she did take a sip of her tea,"Just hard enough to even consider given how bad it is."

"Not embrace it so much as accept that it is within you. You do not have to be happy for it, or think it is okay." He shook his head.

"Sometimes, the hard paths are the only ones left to us."

"Honestly its a scary thing to think about." Luna was honest. "Accepting my demons is going to be hard but its got to happen in order to start the process."

"Change always is. But you are not alone in facing this." He gently squeezed one of her hands.

Luna was able to return Merlin's squeeze, "Then where do I start? Because in public I can hold it together but just barely it seems." she finally got the question into the open.

"By trying to give yourself a break as they say. By accepting that you are not okay, and that you need help, and that it might take time to get better." His words were gentle, compassionate.

Luna let the idea simmer for a few minutes before speaking,"Right now I am not ok, I am nowhere near ok. Can't keep fighting the ghosts alone."

Merlin nodded, smiling. "Then don't. You do not have to be alone." He offered her a more formal hand.

"If you are going to fight, then use all your resources."

Luna's smaller hand linked into Merlin's: a sign of trust. "Then time to plan an attack against the ghosts in my soul."

Merlin nodded. "Let's order something to eat, and then we can work on that. " He paused then nodded. "And maybe talk to Doctor Crusher. She is a wise woman, and compassionate. She might well have ideas and thoughts we do not."

"Fair enough." but this time Luna was able to smile a tiny bit more. "And every have Every Flavor Beans?" knowing she had a bag full in her coat pocket.

"I've not, no." He smiled at her. "Let's find a place to sit, eat, and then we can try those too." And with her at his side, he set out to do just that. And maybe just maybe make things a touch better.

As Luna fished the baggie of candy from her coat pocket she let Merlin take the lead. "Fair warning some of these are pretty awful, Fred and George would use those for prank tastings." able to smile a bit more at the memory of one such prank.

Darkness Of The Heart

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject