A very violent reentry - OTA - Spoilers for the 10th doctor's era

[professorsong]

"All the time we've been together, you knew I was coming here," she had said. She was right - about the library. But she was wrong, so wrong, about the Enterprise. Call it a joke of Q's. She wasn't in a laughing mood.

Professor River Song had done what she had to do. Perhaps somewhere in her mind she had always wondered if she would really do what needed to be done when it came down to it. throw herself in the way of a projectile to save him, yes. But when there was thought? When there was time for thought? She offered to give herself to save him, but hadn't she known, hadn't she always known that he wouldn't let her? That he would use the danger to her to do what he wouldn't when he had been the one at risk? She knew the Doctor. She loved the Doctor. Every form she had ever met, and the ones she only knew of as stories. She knew that to save everyone, he would give his life. Some days she didn't half wonder if he wanted to die. She didn't think she could ever love him enough to let him.

But when it was someone else taking the risk, then... ah then he would see another way clear. Another way out. Then he would come up with an impossible plan and pull it off. He did so hate to lose. So, somewhere back in the depths of her mind she wondered if she would ever have the courage not to say she was going to step between him and danger, and not to do it on instinct and emotion, but to stare death in the face and give herself to it to save him.

And now she knew. This time there was no hope for a crazy last minute plan. She knew that. And she knew he knew it. Because her journal was full. Because there was no time for another plan. For the two of them who treated space and time like a giant play yard... No. For her. For her there was no time left. So she did what she had to. She didn't say she was going to take his place, she didn't give him the chance to argue. She knocked him out, handcuffed him, and took his place. River Song worked at the controls.

But he came to too soon. He started to speak, and that... That was what he was best at. Speaking. And it was when he was speaking that he could do anything, save anyone. But not this time. She wouldn't let him, because the alternative was that he would die. And she would not let him. So she spoke. She took his death from him, and she took his trick. In the end, she learned from the Doctor in the most important ways.

The words were still on her lips. Her last words. They were meant to be her last words. "Hush now, spoilers," she had said, she still tasted the words. She closed the connection as the timer ticked down. There would be no more running. And no chance for him to stop her, to take her place. Tears fell from her eyes as the world went white.

Energy filled her, used her, passed through her. She wouldn't scream. She refused. She wouldn't do that to him. Spoilers. Her last word, the last he would hear. He carried too much pain, he hated goodbyes. But she could give him this.

But when the white faded, she wasn't dead. She felt like she should be. She wasn't in the library. She was in a hallway in a space ship she didn't know. And she was alone. No Doctor. She hadn't done it. Or rather... he had. He had saved her somehow. And he could be dead himself for it. But the pain. Oh... the pain.

She was no longer wired into the chair. She was in her space suit, hands wrapped around her journal and her sonic. She had other things with her as well, but with the pain this was all she could feel. A worn leather journal. A Sonic screwdriver. And pain.

Comments

[not_the_question]

The Doctor had been looking for River for weeks. He had given up after so many weeks, deciding that it had been a cruel trick of Q's rather than hope that she might actually be here.

So when he sees a figure in a strange space suit, it takes a minute to sink in that he recognises it. And then he looks at the hair - more tame than usual - but somehow just a vibrant, just as River.

He swallows hard. Ever since he had been brought back here, he has been suffering from nightmares. That's one of the reasons why he is wandering the halls now. They felt suspiciously like the halls of the castle, and that made him feel threatened like he had to keep moving. He shakes his head. He had dreams about River too, of course, those had returned with seeing her name again.

But in front of him. She is in the spacesuit she had worn at the Library. Which means... she would know him. His heart leaps for a moment. But, he doesn't want to believe it. Not after the last trick Q had played on him.

He approaches the figure slowly and when he is finally close enough, he speaks her name. But his voice catches. He can't let himself hope too much.

"Ri-ver?"

[professorsong]

Slowly, painfully she turned her head. Hearing that voice, how could she not? Him. It had to be him. With that new hair cut. She had just seen him this way before... before the library. Was she dreaming? Was she dead? She had to be dead, she should be dead. But who knew dead could feel so painful, and so wonderful at the same time. Because she knew enough to know that wherever she was with this face... he looked at her with eyes that knew her, he said her name.

And with pain and hope and love all racing through her, River's lips turned up into a smile and she said the only word she could bring to them. "Spoilers." She tried very hard not to pass out, as dramatic as that might be.

[not_the_question]

The moment she turns her head, the Doctor rushes to her side. "River."

He looks her over head to toe, quickly taking everything it. And suddenly, memories deeply buried, memories that he had run from so very long come to the forefront. He knows exactly what this is and what has happened. That specific space suit, the last word she spoke... And he knows.

"River... We have to get you to the medbay. How do I touch you without hurting you?"

[professorsong]

Oh so many replies she would have given to that if she felt better, if she could. So many she wanted to. Really, had he learned nothing of her to give her such an opening. A shame she hurt too much to take full advantage of it. "What did you do?" she rasped instead. "How are we both...." still alive? The words faded on her lips. She would not pass out now. Would not. She wanted to hold this moment and... Medbay? And he seemed surprised to see her. Thoughts were slowly catching up to her brain. Shouldn't he have known she 'd be here, if his past self had sent her?

[not_the_question]

The Doctor reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out his sonic specs so he can give her a brief exam. And... yes. It's as he thought. But how is she alive now, then?

"I didn't do anything and I'll explain it all, but I don't think you're in a condition to retain the information right now. Come on."

As gently as he can, he takes one of her arms and wraps it over his shoulders so he can help to keep her upright.

"Medbay isn't far."

And he has every intention to be her Doctor once they get there.

n today's to do list - new/more icons! ::whee::

[professorsong]

His face could change, but he would always be her Doctor. She accepted the help from him, getting to her feet and leaning on him. She knew better, then to ever show weakness to the Doctor, she did. But she couldn't help that now, and he didn't seem to be pulling away from her because of it.

And besides, they were going to a Medbay, if they could lessen the pain at all, she could put on the act that she was fully better until she was on her own again. She clung to her journal, to the screwdriver, and somehow... she still managed to cling to him.

:)

[not_the_question]

Once he pushes everyone else out of the way (because he knew more of what she had done to herself than they did), he gets her settled onto one of the beds. He then activates the buttons to perform a proper scan. He grimaces at the results.

"I wish I had access to the TARDIS, she could probably heal this quickly."

As it is, he could only put together something to lessen the pain for now.

"Twenty-Fourth century medical treatments leaves something to be desired for fifty-first century injuries."

[professorsong]

She got onto the bed, did what he needed, stayed still until...

The sonic screwdriver dropped onto her chest as her arm lurched, as she grabbed his arm, her grip firm.

"What do you mean you don't have access to the Tardis?" she asked. He could be lacking an arm and be lacking less. The pain was making it hard to think but the Tardis... no... he had to have that. And if someone was standing between him and that Tardis, that someone would very soon be dead.

[not_the_question]

He looks down at her when her hand grabs his arm. Her grip is impressive, given her condition. He very gently pries her hand off his arm so he can continue to work.

Resting her hand back on her stomach is when he notices her sonic. He swallows thickly, too many memories surging back at once. And the ones from Darillium are far too fresh.

"I promise I'll explain everything, but lets get your pain addressed first."

He loads up a hypospray he uses his sonic to make sure everything was balanced as he wanted it and then turned back to face her with it.

"Is there any place that hurts less. I don't want this to be too painful going in."

Normally, such a thing wouldn't hurt at all, but River's current condition was far from normal.

[professorsong]

She did her best to be firm, to be strong, because him worrying over her like this wasn't... him. And it was making her very worried for him. Otherwise she might enjoy it. If she wasn't hurt so badly, she'd certainly take advantage of it. "The sooner you do whatever it is you are planning to do, the sooner you will give me answers," was her reply. She presumed he would translate that properly. She watched him, worry for him fighting with pain in her face. The Doctor. As she had seen him last before the Library, when he seemed to know so much. When he cried. She needed answers, and she needed her head to be clear enough for her to get them.

[general_chang]

The woman who he'd found was clearly in pain, though he couldn't identify quite what was the cause. Her EVA suit didn't appear to be malfunctioning, nor did the device in her hand seem to be doing much.

He decided to wait for her to see what was happening.

[professorsong]

She frowned when she saw him, tried to get words, any words, past the pain. "Who...." she finally managed. She liked to know more than anyone else, or act like it at least, she learned that from the Doctor. But she feared she needed a doctor of a different sort now. She was supposed to be dead. And she wasn't which meant... was he? How had he saved her and where had he sent her? Where.... that would have been a better question to have asked,

[general_chang]

"Who?" he repeated. The question could be 'who is he?' or it could be 'who did this?' and he's not prepared to answer the first without knowing it's not the former.

[professorsong]

She glared at him. Great, she was dying, or should be, and she landed on an owl. She marshaled her strength as best she could to say, a bit sharply, "Either get me some medical help or finish the job." She knew which she preferred, of course. She had to be alive to find the Doctor and slap him silly for this. But she was sure that she had enough strength to at least find out what a squarness gun would do to a living body if it came to that.

[general_chang]

He slipped out his blade, considering the idea as he carelessly, yet with obvious skill, tossed his dagger. The temptation to kill her was very real and not even personal. Klingons were predators and it took a lot of Chang's discipline not to act out on it.

"Chang to sickbay. Medical emergency," he called out, adding their section. He looked at her as if considering stabbing her anyway, but then slipped the dagger back into his scabbard and moved to walk around her.

[professorsong]

She watched him, warily, but made no move to stop him. Could make no move to stop him. But if she survived this, she would remember. There would be words between them, and possibly, of he was unlucky, flirting.

[thelasttimelord]

The Doctor shouldn’t be shocked. It’s been years. Seriously, years. Years. He was here when this started. He vanished, lived years and years, endless times and places in time, and came back again. So many things happened. But still here. Again. This place. This trap. This middle of everywhere and anywhen.

Lucie.

Rose.

Donna.

It was only one day. (Only. One. Word.). But. He would know that suit anywhere. That hair. Still it smacks him as though it is not the ship away running through him, every life, every choice, every timeline, every iota of the great machine, the space around it, the stars and planets being passed, and all of those for every one of those, and every life upon them, past and present and coming.

It’s not running through him like that.

It’s runs, charges, slams into him. The surprise. The shock.
Painful guilt and ownership and confusion stuttering him.

The name falling out of his mouth, “River?”

[professorsong]

"Doctor," she gasped. She was alive, but... so was he. How? She had been sure there was no other way, that she had to die, to keep him from dying. There was a fixed point in his future, more than one, and he had to be there for those. He had to be there for her. "What have you done?" she asked, trying to see through the haze of pain.

[thelasttimelord]

She shouldn't--she couldn't. That suit was. She was. Except even his thoughts, his big brain, too big, not big enough, too fast, not fast enough, isn't working, when he's suddenly passing what there is of the hallway in fast strides that are almost running steps now. Dead, and not dead. Saved, not like this. Charlotte had understood when he saved everything, rewrote what he wanted. Needed. Had to.

She was here. She was alive. Her. River Song.

The impossible woman with his name, and his sonic, and that TARDIS book. The one he left in the library. Without opening. Because of Donna. Because of. Well. So much. But he might have meant he'd consider it, if she hadn't been there. Which means she's from before all of that, too. The thoughts won't stay but he catches her arms without waiting, without asking, opening his mouth to answer only to get caught up on her face. Running over that entirely. "You're in pain. But you didn't, you never--" -- not until.

"No." It smacks him almost as hard. Because it is impossible. It should be. Nothing is here.
"Tell me you didn't." It's almost angry. Tighter than it should be. It's not at her. Not even a little.

The reckoning he has with Q one day is going to be epic, and it make the walls of this little universe shudder as they heal.

[professorsong]

"Punched you out so that you wouldn't be stupid enough to try whatever it is you tried, risking everyone?" she snapped. "I very much did. What did you do?" she asked again. Eyes narrowed through the pain. "You know that had to happen. You know as well as I do, that one of us had to be in that chair, or we couldn't get anyone out. What. Did. You. Do?" she asked. She hurt, and the was furious.

[thelasttimelord]

Well, that makes two of them at least. Though he is the one who looks far more able to balance and walk than her. Eye narrowed, tension running through her. Heartrate probably elevated. He gives a noisy huff, finally looking back at her face, as she is going on. Angry, but basically immobile. The conduit of more than four thousand people brought back to life. That would kill anyone. Would have killed him.

Should have killed her. Would kill her It's a miracle she's not dead on the ground this very second.

Miracles he doesn't have the time to consider the inversions of just yet. "Nothing. Everything. We'll get to that. We have to get you to the medbay first. Slow steps."

Try not to die, he doesn't say. It's impossibly you're even still standing, he doesn't say. But it's in there. She has to die, but it's not here, and he doesn't want to see it a second time. He saved her, then, there. The Library. He had a way. He would not have it here. All he had was those people and getting her there soon enough.

[professorsong]

"I should be dead," she said as evenly as she could, fighting to hide as much of the pain as possible. Never show the Doctor you're hurting. Never. "What happened?" Would moving stop anything that needed to happen from happening? What had he done?

[thelasttimelord]

"Mass multi-tempro-universal translocation."

It's fast, and bland, with no focus, as he gets in front of her. Needs her attention.

"But not right now, okay? We have to go right now. Not in two minutes, or five. Right now, right now." It's important. He has to keep her alive. This time he has to keep her alive. Q does not keep people from dying. "River." He says her name with so much force, so much focus. It's even near to something manically like pleading as he says, "Please."

"We have to get you there first." Even throws on. "I'll answer your questions after we get there."

[professorsong]

She pursed her lips, then nodded, though nodding hurt. "Fine," she said. "but for once, Doctor, you will answer. And with less lies then usual, if you would be so kind." Of course... now she had to figure out how to stand.

[thelasttimelord]

He doesn't like it. It's already crawling down his spine again. The way she talks. Accusations that ring with such familiarity. (His name, whispered, soft, with breath, mortal breath, against his ear.) But he can't let himself think about. He can't. No time, no time, no time. In the med lab. Where he might agree to her words or he might not. None of that matters as much as getting her there either.

"Right. Okay." Words. Just words. When he's crouching by her side. "C'mon. I've got you."

Sliding an arm under hers, and that of the entirely puffy, definitely in the way, adding far too much extra weight she really did not need plaguing her exhausted, impossibly still alive, body at the same time. But he could only solve one of those at a time. Across the ship. Then out of the suit. Into the hands of those who might could do something.