Hauted by inner demons - OTA Forward dated to early hours Friday

[not_the_question]

The Doctor has a terrible secret that he has tried to keep somewhat hidden since his return.

He is older. Four point five billion years older. He might have mentioned it to a few people, but he hasn't properly explained to anyone how that all happened. "Stuck in a place" was probably as specific as he got. But the terrible truth was about to be revealed to everyone in the worst way he could imagine.

River might realise what's going on, at least in theory. But it had been very early days on Darillium when he had been forced to tell her. Even in his time now, that seems like ages ago. And for her... well... it had been substantially longer.

The Doctor woke to find himself back in his castle. He sighed heavily. It had been an odd dream anyway. Stuck on a ship that was pure fiction. That was almost worse than being stuck here. At least he knew how the castle worked now.

He got up, dressed and continued his search for Room 12.

He hadn't seen the Veil in some time. He checked the monitors and they showed it to be a surprising distance from him. Good. That means he had more time than he thought. Well, that was good. Maybe if he could confuse it enough, he could get more than his tested maximum of eighty-two minutes.

[ooc: The Doctor will be wandering all over the ship, thinking he is in his Confession Dial. Anyone who happens upon the Doctor will be infused into his nightmare. Some might take on the image of the Veil and others might become 'haunts' from other parts of the Doctor's life. Depending on how the Doctor incorporates your character into the dream will dictate his reaction to them. The goal, should your character choose to accept it, is to wake the Doctor. But, be aware, he believes his life is under threat from the Veil, so he is likely to do a lot of things to try to get somewhere safe. This includes but is not limited to hurting others.]

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[not_the_question]

He takes one of her hands in his own. But can't bring himself to look in her eyes. The emotions are too raw.

"I'd be too afraid of hurting you in my sleep. If I do that, I may as well not sleep at all."

[professorsong]

"I'm not so easily hurt my love," she said softly. If that is the fear, if you want, I can promise to keep myself safe, if that is what will help." In tis context, anyway.

[not_the_question]

"Not the point."

He reaches up and tucks a stray curl out of the way.

"Do you really think I could forgive myself if I hurt you?"

[professorsong]

She gave him a small smile. "Then I wont let you. And honestly, I don't think if it came down to it, that you'd let you either."

[not_the_question]

He offered a sarcastic smirk. "You have more faith in me than I do. I don't even know if they'll let me. Or how they'll let me..."

It's just an option. He's still thinking about just not sleeping. He can go for long stretches without sleep.

[professorsong]

"Well, we can start somewhat easier. Find a place that's contained, give me all the sonics. Then you'll sleep, and it will be just us. Worst case I'll have a wait to get out with the sonic and wait on the other side of the door until you wake up. If we need help beyond that so that you'll feel safe, we'll get it."

[not_the_question]

"A secure location I can't escape from. Which is why I'm thinking the brig."

But, that won't help, not really. He actually needs someone he can talk to. Someone who can be objective but is used to dealing with immortals - or near enough. He... needs someone like Q. Only with compassion. He grimaces at the thought. He doubts any such person exists.

His eyes drift to the TARDIS. She's not even his. His is walking around somewhere in a flesh form and from his distant future. Doesn't matter, he won't burden her with this for the same reasons he won't burden River.

"I was doing so well until I was brought here...."

There's nothing but defeat in his tone with that last statement.

[professorsong]

"And you'll do well again, my love. If you want the brig as the answer, we'll see what it will take to arrange it. I'll get arrested if I have to, and you can call it a visit."

She gave him a smile. "Whatever it takes, whatever you want."

[not_the_question]

The worst thing about this experience is how exhausted it makes him. Because while 'asleep' it's not what anyone would call rest.

He shakes his head in answer to her. "I just need... space for now."

He turns again to leave, but pauses at the door.

"Thank you, though."

Because he is grateful, even if he can't accept what she's offering. With that he shoves his hands in his pockets and decides to wander back to his rooms.

I just got her a paid, so I guess I'll be making icons.

[professorsong]

She stood in the doorway, watching him walk away, feeling about as lost and upset when she watched him walk away from her in Stormcage, that one time. When she thought he would never kiss her again. When she thought things were ending for her.

But he did come back to her, later in both their timelines. Not living in reverse of each other, no, nothing that simple, but a chaotic jumble. He came back to her, in this face. She just hoped she didn't have to wait until he changed again, to have him come back again.