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"Oh, shut up Joran."

Ezri mumbled to herself. He had never been this vocal before, well, before the Rite of Emergence. Which wasn't a mistake. He did help her catch the killer, not that Benjamin or the others would ever know. That would not be a fun conversation. 'Why no, Ben, I didn't use what I learned in Forensic Psychology, I just used Joran.' It would go so well. But now? Now she had to be vigilant. Ezri wouldn't be able to bury his personality as deeply as Curzon or Jadzia. And Ezri didn't have training in the first place. She didn't want to accidentally almost stab someone with a butter knife again. Talk about embarrassing. Benjamin hadn't been exactly understanding when that happened. Thank goodness Odo had come along, and taken the knife out of her hand before something really bad had happened.

Ezri had intended to take a walk along the Promenade, clear her head. That was until she wasn't in the Promenade anymore. She was in a bar. And it wasn't Quark's. It was....Ezri took a few steps toward a console. The U.S.S. Enterprise? Oh and they were at warp. The Trill put a hand on her stomach and another on her temple trying to fight back the wave of nausea and flashes of Torias' shuttle accident. Dying. Crashing. Oh no.

"Okay Ezri, you can figure this out. Just start by not barfing all over the security guard eating his lunch. He wouldn't appreciate that at all."

Ezri talked to herself.

"One. Wormhole aliens? Two. Spacial phenomenon? Three. I could just be going nuts. That's my clinical assessment of myself."

Ezri closed her eyes, trying to sort through eight other lifetimes of memories to remember if anyone served or visited the Enterprise D. That was....Curzon or Jadzia's time? Maybe she was just hallucinating memories. Did that happen? Maybe she should qualify that. Did that happen to her? It probably didn't happen to another other Joined Trill. That's Ezri, nothing easy for Ezri.

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"Really? Bet you're glad you didn't." The idea of Dax as someone's field Docent even made her nervous. And a bit more nauseous. "Luckily I never had to go through that. Or maybe unluckily. Maybe if I did I'd know who I was!" Ezri laughed a bit at herself and her sitution, even if Terzen didn't get the inside joke at her own expense.

"I think you need to calm down..." Terzen remarks, now frowning slightly. "Take a few deep breaths. Try and relax."

He looks around Ten Forward, trying to think of anything else he can do to help, feeling the nerves and nausea coming off her in waves.

"I can... fetch the ship's counsellor, if you want someone else to talk to? If that'll help?"

"Sorry. I'm sorry." Ezri stopped and took a few deep breathes, pushing down the nausea. She wasn't Curzon or Jadzia. This Trill in front of her wasn't broken by Dax and this wasn't a shuttle and it wasn't going to explode. She was Ezri Dax, and she was on the pride of the fleet, the safest ship in the quadrant.

"That's okay. I'm actually a Counselor. And I've seen counselors. The Symbiosis Commission tried to help. I'll be okay. Eventually. And I'm sorry about the nausea. I must be making you a bit ill too."

And the smile returns.

"You know I'm half-Betazoid." He remarks. Of course, she did. She was Dax, probably after Curzon. "Thanks for your concern, but I'm more worried about you. Q doesn't seem to discriminate when he takes people."

"It was quite a momentous joining, of course I heard about it. Well, I didn't hear about it, Curzon heard about it. But it was a big deal, you should be proud." Her frown returned momentarily.

"No, not really. But I can't be the only one out of time here." She winced. "2375. At least it's not like Curzon will recognize me."

"I'm from 2368." Terzen remarks. Mostly to clarify, and a bit as a warning; They're Starfleet, that means the Temporal Prime Directive.

Rules weren't exactly something Dax took seriously, in most of it's lifetimes. Ezri was no exception to that rule. "Don't worry." She tried to wave his worries away. "Curzon wouldn't recognize me since I really haven't spent much time on Trill. That's not super secret is it?"

"So, you're after Curzon Dax?" Terzen clarifies with a slight smile. Honestly? Terzen doesn't care too much about polluting the timeline with stuff... as long as it didn't leave behind destroyed planets. "That must be, what... over a hundred years from now?"

It might be true, even if she's wearing the same uniform-style as Julian.

"A hundred years, give or take." The hundred."2375. A bit after Curzon. But not that much. I couldn't even imagine what a hundred years would look like for Starfleet. Or Dax.I wonder if I'll bump into Curzon! Oh, what if I do bump into him? Wouldn't that be fun? Kind of scary, but fun."

"Unfortunately, I think the captain will take any lengths to avoid that." Considering humans are not as lacksadaisy with Federation regulations. "I think I'd settle on scary, though. Docent Dax is... a force to be reckoned with."

"Captains can be such party poopers." Like when Jadzia wanted to see McCoy again. It wasn't like he'd recognize her when she wasn't Emony. That would have been a blast. Ezri tried to shove the Jadzia part of her that wasn't to see Curzon again. And, well, Curzon himself.

But then Ezri got a little worried. "I'm not Curzon Dax. Well I am Curzon. And I am Dax...." She clarified, even though...she kind of was. Jadzia made the same claim to an initiant, but she was more Dax than she realized.

"Am I the only one whose confused here?"

"Yes." He's Betazoid, he's honest. "But I understand why." There's a slight frown. "Are you having trouble keeping your personalities seperate?"

"Am I having trouble keeping my personalities straight?" Ezri gave a laugh. Honestly, it was funny.

"Did you miss the part where I almost ordered gagh? Or have trouble eating steak because Tobin was vegetarian? I introduced myself to my mother as Curzon. Can you imagine? 'Hi mom, it's me....Curzon!"

Ezri buries her head in her hands, not quite sure if she thinks it's hysterical or horrifying.

A flinch, there, at the conflicting emotions flooding out from the young Trill. She wasn't a good match for her symbiote, least of all for one such as Dax. The Dax Symbiote is one of the more longer-living of the Trill, you don't get given it lightly.

What was the Symbiosis Commission doing? Had things changed in the future? Not likely. He remembered he had to fight to get a symbiote incredibly hard... And, even then, they gave him a young one. T'Karr had only lived through three other lifetimes.

Of course, there were extenuating circumstances; lack of hosts, for example.

This was going to be complicated.

"Okay..." He reaches out a hand and places it on Ezri's back. "Take a deep breath... It helps. Trust me."

Deep breath. She could do that. That was easy. As long as she didn't think about Tobias. Ezri wished she could just sit down with T'Karr and tell him everything. Screw the Temporal Prime Directive (she was pretty sure that was Jadzia's or Curzon's influence there, or Dax's directly). Ezri herself was much too timid and questioning on her own to do something as blatent as that.

But, she was still a Starfleet officer, and so was he. Maybe that still counted for something. She took a deep breath, inhaling, and exhaling, thankful for someone else to be doing the counseling for the moment.

"Okay. I can do that."

"Close your eyes. Concentrate on your breathing." He gently rubs up and down her back. "It'll help with the emotional noise."

"This is much better than the books the Symbiosis Commission gave me. That was not helpful." Ezri closed her eyes obediently, focusing on her breath, inhaling and exhaling.

He gives her a moment of that, smiling. "The Symbiosis Commission isn't the most helpful Trill institution sometimes." He sits back. "I use this simple meditation to help control the emotions I get from a ship this size."

"It must not be easy for you. If I have trouble sorting out the emotions of 9 people, I cant imagine what it's like for you with thousands here." She poked an eye open.

"Can I open my eyes now?"

"Sure." He says, laughing, before sitting back. "And I've had more experience being an Empath. I went through Starfleet Academy, I can handle a Galaxy-class starship."

He sighs. "It was a shock when I first got here. I went from a Miranda-class ship with 40 people on it."

Ezri joins him in a little laughter, albeit at her own expense. "Work your way up right? Is that what they teach you as an Initiate? How to not get totally overwhelmed by your Symbiont? "

Having never actually gone through the whole process--besides her special 15 minute lecture-- Ezri had no idea what to expect when she woke up. It was Terzen's metaphorical Galaxy class star ship with no preperation.

"...You didn't go through the initiate program?"

That's... a bit worrying, but not entirely surprising.

Ezri gave the half Trill a look.

" I got a 15 minute lecture from my ship's surgeon and he wasn't even a Trill. I didn't even want to be Joined. Never did. Funny how life works out. The universe has a twisted sense of humor sometimes. Nah, why give the Dax symbiont to someone whose prepared for it? Let's just give it to Ezri and see what happens. Nothing simple for Ezri."

She gave Terzen a shrug. "By the time we made it to Trill, it was past the 93 hour mark."

Edited 2014-12-31 01:50 (UTC)

"So you were joined to keep the symbiont alive..." He nods, frowning. "I'm sorry."

He looks up. "Have you been through your zhian'tara yet? That might help."

"Wasn't my choice but, that's what happened, and I'm slowly coming to terms with it. All nine of me!" Ezri gave a little laugh at her own expense. But she still shook her head. "Not yet. But I have gone through the Rite of Emergence." She left out the most important part. People tended to get a little nervous when Joran's name was mentioned. Ezri wasn't sure how much Terzen knew about Joran, or if he knew about him at all, but she figured not giving her new Trill friend a heart attack was a good idea.

"Have you? Had your zhian'tara yet?"