Elizabeth DeWitt earned the power of self respect (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
loiseau_ou_la_cage) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
ten_fwd2015-04-14 06:36 pm
loiseau_ou_la_cage) wrote in ten_fwd2015-04-14 06:36 pm
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Elizabeth wished she could enjoy the Enterprise the way Booker did. He behaved like none of it was real and she was so jealous of his light-hearted nature. Everything about the ship reminded her of some past tragedy. The ship itself was too much like Rapture with its enclosed spaces and lack of proper breezes. That, she thought, was why she was having nightmares again. There wasn't much difference between the bottom of the ocean and the middle of space, when it came down to it.
Despite being made of her memories the dreams were never quite the same each time. Sometimes her dream was of Columbia and her 'father's hands laying on her shoulders in prayer after a spinal tap before it merged and flowed into Rapture and Atlas. Sometimes it was just that moment in her life replayed in perfect clarity. It always ended the same way. One final tap of the hammer and she would be lobotomized. She was one little motion away from not caring, from laying down her burdens.
The terror came from how seductive that still was to her. The depression was easing, but it ebbed and flowed, coming and going. Right now she couldn't push her demons away. Her life was objectively good and it terrified her to think of losing it all again. Despite herself she saw Killian's appearance as a bad omen. The thought of losing Anne or Booker was enough to keep her up at night without her bad memories interfering.
She sat in the bar in her pajamas and bathrobe. A glass of wine sat on the table in front of her, next to a sketchpad and charcoals. Both were untouched. She apparently preferred to stare at them and brood. She looked as upset as she felt: her jaw was slack, her eyes unfocused, brow furrowed somewhat at her thoughts and memories.
Despite being made of her memories the dreams were never quite the same each time. Sometimes her dream was of Columbia and her 'father's hands laying on her shoulders in prayer after a spinal tap before it merged and flowed into Rapture and Atlas. Sometimes it was just that moment in her life replayed in perfect clarity. It always ended the same way. One final tap of the hammer and she would be lobotomized. She was one little motion away from not caring, from laying down her burdens.
The terror came from how seductive that still was to her. The depression was easing, but it ebbed and flowed, coming and going. Right now she couldn't push her demons away. Her life was objectively good and it terrified her to think of losing it all again. Despite herself she saw Killian's appearance as a bad omen. The thought of losing Anne or Booker was enough to keep her up at night without her bad memories interfering.
She sat in the bar in her pajamas and bathrobe. A glass of wine sat on the table in front of her, next to a sketchpad and charcoals. Both were untouched. She apparently preferred to stare at them and brood. She looked as upset as she felt: her jaw was slack, her eyes unfocused, brow furrowed somewhat at her thoughts and memories.
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She smiled, "Oh, I'm Yuna."
"One of my friends from home just had a baby too." Lulu had let her watch her after a lot of convincing so that she could have so alone time with Wakka. It was fun though Yuna had never thought to have kids herself. Of course, Yuna hadn't thought she would have a lot of things.
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Elizabeth smiled at the compliment. "Nice to meet you, I'm Elizabeth. She is the most beautiful baby in the world if you ask me." She wished she had her phone to show Yuna. Next time she would grab it. "Do you babysit? It's so nice to have people to rely on to look after your little one."
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Yuna loved kids and while she wasn't planning on any she was always happy to lend a hand.
"I think being a mother is amazing though." She smiled wistful her gaze being pulled down to her glass before looking back up at Elizabeth.