I already survived this once [ota]

[chaotica]

A starship never sleeps. Even the third watch, in what would be the wee hours of the morning in an equivalent planetside clock, functions enough to keep a capital starship under control. Which is to say, hundreds of people are going about their duties. But, a starship does have rhythms, and this shift represents the time when people are least active socially.

Which is exactly why Hugh Cambridge sits himself down in Ten-Forward now.

Because the nightmares are back.

They haven't been around for years. Oh, they'll rear up, one night in a very long while, usually aimless strung-out sequences, endless starship corridors, shaking lights and fires and ever-morphing enemy encounters. Cambridge's nightmares are never specific things, but they're not subtle, either. He's afraid of what's coming, just like he used to be afraid of what had already happened.

He rests his forehead on the bar after the second Scotch - the real stuff, not synthehol - and begins to breathe deep and quell his panic.

-

On another night, after another nightmare, he quells it in a different way.

Open the holodeck doors - they're not locked for privacy - and there's a studio, mirrors all along one wall. Cambridge dances with a single partner - female, lovely - in some pseudo-jazz number, something old-fashioned.

It's easy to see that he's trained, on first glance. His movements are precise and practiced, and he is flexible, strong enough to do lifts, jumps. But, next to a professional dancer, he wouldn't look very good. Technique or no, Cambridge isn't an artist of dance. He doesn't elevate the dance, doesn't make it his own. He just does it. It makes him an unusually good dancer among laypeople, but not much at all among dancers.

Doesn't matter to him. He's there to be distracted, not to show off.

Comments

[ships_counselor]

"That doesn't look like the best place to rest."

Where it could be a reprimand, it isn't. Deanna's voice is actually quiet, a touch unconcealed concern. She's not commenting on the scent of alcohol. Only pulling a chair out quietly, but not yet actually sitting down in it. "Though, I must admit, it's definitely not the worst place in the ship, and at least Guinan wouldn't mind being charitable about sharing it."

[chaotica]

"You don't think so?" asks Cambridge, lifting his head. He runs his hands along the bar, raps it. "It's solid, available, at a decent height. Nice and hard." Joking, but it's a halfhearted effort. He doesn't really look at her. There isn't much he can say about what's troubling him.

[ships_counselor]

He doesn't. Look at her that is. Which is probably the thing that gets to her heart even more than the slump on the bar, or the glass beside him. Not because she looking for that connection, but because Cambridge is a very direct person, both working and not.

The kind who looks you in the eye not only to be seen, but to know just as much that he is. Can't be missed. Is being listened to, heard, valued. This is almost like a completely opposing retreat from all of that. She knows she might not be the person best suited to sit down here, as his superior. But passing him by hadn't been an option, as herself, either.

She doesn't push. She already is by sitting down and speaking up at all.

Instead she follows suit in this, "Not as great for a reposing posture, though, I'd think."

[chaotica]

"No, perhaps not."

He does look up to her, then, but the look in his eyes is a sort of bleak weighing of the options. He doesn't want a counselor right now. He doesn't think it would help. He knows exactly what the content of his emotions are; he knows his options. He is armed with all the coping mechanisms there are. But emotion needs to be felt. And, sometimes, there's nothing to do but feel it.

"I don't need a counselor, at the moment," he tells her. "I would much rather a friend. If you dislike me enough that this isn't an option - even tentatively, or temporarily - then I would prefer to be left alone."

Even this is more than he ever would have said, before Voyager. Before he had some sort of family. He misses them terribly. And he expects her to respect his wishes - expects, in fact, that she will leave.

[bob_fraser_rcmp]

Bob appears beside him. But there's no flash and he doesn't appear all that surprised to be there. Well, he is a bit surprised, but the kind of surprised you are when you find your cup is beside you instead of over there on the table where you thought you left it.

Speaking of beverages, he picks up the drink and goes to drink it. Before he drinks it though, he changes his mind.

"No point in starting a drinking problem now, is there?" he asked, directing his comment at Cambridge, though his response doesn't seem required. "It's not even as if I can taste the stuff."

[chaotica]

Cambridge plucks it right back out of his hand. "Excuse you," he says, "I don't recall offering to share, and I certainly wouldn't if you couldn't even savor it." He knocks it back. "This," he says, "is the good stuff, and I just committed a cardinal sin by swallowing instead of sipping."

Yes, he's delivering a lecture to an abrupt person he doesn't even recognize.

[bob_fraser_rcmp]

Considering Bob was putting it back anyway. "Well, I could put you in the brig, if it'd make you feel better," he replied. He's wearing his uniform, so the idea that he actually would do so isn't out of the realm of possibility for Cambridge to think.

And this is a man who arrested his own wife for speeding.

[magnetic_magpie]

Magneto doesn't sleep well, as a rule. It's been only sightly better of late - having things to do, work in the sickbay is at least familiar and soothing because of it, his daughter, his young roommate and pseudo-roommate, other people who need his attention. It settles him into a rhythm anyway and that ensures he generally gets a few hours sleep.

But it's still not uncommon for him to be up at odd hours.

And normally he might ignore a man clearly miserable. He does, in face, ignore him for a bit. Until he sees him dip his head forward, and try to force himself calm. It's not hard to see - biological patterns being what they are. But somehow he's managed to hold onto a sense of empathy and compassion, despite everything he's lived through, survived.

And being in such close contact with people, in the wake of the loss of Genosha...it's making it more difficult to shut that part of himself out.

Magneto slides to his feet, walking over to take a set beside the other man, careful to make a little noise as he walks, because normally he doesn't. "Are you all right?" It's quiet, not meant to carry. It could even be ignored, and if so, he'll allow it. But his tone isn't noisy, it's gentle, concerned in a way that might be call professional, in the least belongs to someone who cares for people.

[chaotica]

"For a certain value of 'all right'," says Cambridge, lifting his head. Focusing, with a hint of a frown, on the newcomer. "All limbs intact, still breathing, full personality and faculties, et cetera." He pronounces every word, especially the brief Latin, with exact and crisp trained British diction. That training comes out a little more when he's tipsy. "Who are you, and are you trying to get Scotch out of me? Because I'm not the sharing type."

[magnetic_magpie]

The reaction at least draws a brief flash of something that could be a smirk or a smile - it's difficult to tell. But his ears pick up the diction, if only because he's mostly trained himself out of an accent. Still - occasionally his phrasing is stiff, at least in English, having learned it from a book first. Most don't pick up on it, but it's not his first language, or his sixth.

"That's a good place to start." He doesn't add that his heart is beating a little too fast, or his brain too active in parts of the brain that point to something being wrong. "You can call me Erik, and Scotch isn't my drink of choice, so I'm not."

[element_wizard]

The holodeck door opens and Alec, with a guitar like instrument on in his hands, hesitates at the doorway, wondering if he should continue to go in or not. The dancing is distracting enough that he doesn't leave right away, though he's not quite a fan of this sort of music.

He hasn't recognized Cambridge quite yet, as he's taking things in.

[chaotica]

It's an active part of the piece; the two of them move in synch, a few paces apart, her looking back over her shoulder at him almost flirtatiously. There are jumps and spins, and he keeps pace with her perfectly, and steps up to catch her as she dips back.

It's only another fifteen seconds or so before the piece concludes, with a kiss - of course.

"Freeze dance partner." Cambridge glances to the door, revealing that he's been aware of the other's presence. "Need the holodeck?" He's breathing a little fast.

[element_wizard]

"That will never not be creepy," Alec said, eyeballing the frozen partner.

He snaps his attention back to Cambridge. "Not desperately. Part of me wants to say that I wouldn't have ever taken you for a dancer, but considering I don't know that much about you, that seems a bit wrong to say."

[dictaphonic]

Will doesn't always keep regular hours, and so it happens that he's in Ten Forward tonight as well, reading documents on a PADD, when Cambridge arrives and starts his drinking. Will is focused enough on his studies that he doesn't even notice him at first, though. Cambridge is already on that second Scotch by the time his presence registers.

"Oh. Hello!" As Will finally notices the familiar face, he calls the words across a mostly empty room, tone bright. "Up late as well? I thought I-" But he cuts himself off now, realising just a bit too late that Cambridge looks rather wretched. "Erm." He shifts uncomfortably. "Sorry. I probably shouldn't have interrupted."

[chaotica]

"I'm that obvious?" He sighs. He hadn't meant to broadcast his emotional state. Unavoidable, maybe. But he would rather not show weakness so overtly, not in an unknown situation like this.

He turns, so he's leaning back against the bar. "Thought you'd...?"

[dictaphonic]

The next time Cambridge wants to be subtle, he probably shouldn't look ready to collapse over a glass of alcohol. However, that isn't to say that Will really knows what's wrong--only that something most likely is.

"Um." He shifts uncomfortably. "Well, I just...thought I'd be here alone, at this time of night." He pauses before venturing: "Are you all right?"

[fatalist_physicist]

The holodecks are a marvelous invention. Rosalind has become quite fond of them in her time on the Enterprise. She can't help but be curious about the simulations other people are doing, which is why she's poking her head in on Cambridge.

Dancing isn't something that Rosalind does very well, but she can see that he's had some practice. The music is so emotional and unusual that she steps into the simulation and closes the door behind her. She's no great dancer but she's an excellent piano player and she can appreciate the new (to her), music.

[chaotica]

The piece ends, slow trailing away, and Cambridge steps away from his partner. "Computer, freeze program," he commands, and the room goes unnaturally still. He looks to the newcomer. "Do you need the room?" he asks, rolling his shoulders. Takes a moment to examine her, while he does. This would all be much easier if he could assume she was a Starfleet officer, or even if he could assume she was from his universe.

[fatalist_physicist]

Alex's influence had Rosalind wearing more contemporary clothing, though she still wore a full length skirt and heels. Some habits wouldn't die easily.

The end of the song draws Rosalind out of her head, and she eyes Cambridge curiously. "She's not real? I didn't know you could do that. As for the room, no. I was hoping you were an acquaintance of mine. The music is curious, I've never heard anything like it. Is it modern?"

[diamonds_are_forever]

It's the panic that draws Emma's attention. She was up late enjoying a drink and a book when Cambridge came in. His entrance didn't draw her attention, but his disquiet started to seep past her alcohol-inhibited defenses. It still took time for her to notice that her anxiety wasn't her own.

Once she realized that fact it was easy enough to figure out the source of the emotion and guess at the cause. Emma flicked her book closed and tucked her PADD under her arm. The seat next to Cambridge emptied and Emma claimed it, ordering another martini before gently addressing Cambridge. "Rough night, I take it."

[chaotica]

"Not the best," he confirms, shifting up to lean on an elbow, propping chin on hand. He makes an effort to quiet down his emotional state, but snapping out of sleep the way he just did doesn't lend itself to perfect mental control. He's not as disciplined as he usually is.

[diamonds_are_forever]

Emma shakes her head, touching his shoulder gently. "Don't focus on my account. God knows we all deserve a break now and then. How's your drink?" She sips her martini, eying Cambridge sympathetically. She's had her own share of nights spent face down on a friendly bar.

[impossibilities]

At first, she had avoided the holodecks. They reminded her too much of that day. That meeting the first time she had been pulled away. It took her about a week to finally walk into a holodeck and asked it to show her something interesting. That is what turned the tide from panic and memory to curiosity. It was a tool, and one under her control, unlike that day.

She came here tonight, when most people were asleep, so she could have uninterrupted time with the computer. There was something she needed to build, and the time let her figure out how to use it. That she walked in tonight to find a dance studio and two people in it surprised her.

"Oh, I am sorry." Grainne mumbled, embarrassed at having stepped into what was an intimate moment, and already taking a few steps back for the arch.

So much for completing her program of Tara tonight.

[chaotica]

Cambridge steps back, with a sigh. "Computer, freeze program." His dance partner freezes, the room going unnaturally still, the music abruptly cut off.

"Did you need the holodeck?" he asks, hands on hips. He would have preferred to finish out the dance first, but if she was going to run away, he'd have to say something now.

[impossibilities]

"Oh, no. I just did not expect anyone here this late. I can come back later." Grainne paused when the program did, still unused to that part. It was quite unnerving. It did give her a chance to give him a good look over, though. She hesitates a bit, before asking, "Nightmares?"