ten_fwd | Intro-ish Post (With Options)

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Intro-ish Post (With Options)

This Doctor had been getting settled in on board the Enterprise - well as much as he can. He still baulks at the jabs he had to be given, but since they didn't contain anything that was harmful to him, he allowed for them.

Now, he has an agenda. He knows the TARDIS is somewhere on board and now that he has a map and listings, he's going to go there to find it.

The Doctor is making his way down to the cargo hold, but going about it the long way around. May as well investigate the ship on his way. If he can get to the TARDIS, he won't be staying long anyway, so he might as well explore something new as he goes along.

It's all terribly human. Basic, really. And they think it's the best thing. About the only thing he's really interested in is this Q character. He doesn't mind humans most of the time. He just doesn't like being 'stuck' with them. And there's so much humanity here - with nothing to escape it.

B: TARDIS Cargo hold Plot: Open To All
After his adventure with Trever and his cat, the Doctor finally arrives at the cargo hold that is marked as containing the TARDIS. He sonics his way in (whether or not that was necessary) and looks around. Some of the items look familiar and others seem alien - even to him - which is saying something. It isn't long before he sees the TARDIS, standing there in all her glory. He confidently strides towards her. When he gets there, he gives a loving stroke to her. "Hello, Old Girl. Now, let's see about getting out of here."

The Doctor needed to vent his anger and frustration at not being able to get back to his own universe. So he made his way to the training room. He had told Clara he had cheated against Robin Hood with his archery skills. But that doesn't mean he's positively rubbish at it. He just wasn't sure of his aim at a ship with rotating bits. If he were to be perfectly honest, which he rarely is, he just needs a bit of practice. He was disappointed that he couldn't get into the Armoury, so he would have to make-do with one of the holodecks. Pity. It's never quite as good as the real thing. Now, if only someone else with archery skills were around. Nothing like a little bit of friendly competition when it comes to brushing up on skills.

{{OOC: I'm happy to backtag however long people are interested in playing with these plots.}}

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The Doctor tilts his head with an expression of curiosity. "I was right. Weeping Angels are the kindest killers."

Well, until the group that was into snapping necks, but he'd rather not think about that. If she was expecting sympathy, the Doctor is the wrong person to tell the story.

"And you were conscious the entire time? Or did you have periods of waking and sleeping? How did you measure time? Were you in a public place that you would watch people?"

And there go the questions, because this was new and interesting.

Weeping Angels in the same context as killers was something she'd never heard of before, but considering the current conversation, she filed that away to ask about later. Right now, Helena was doing her best to mentally separate herself from her experience so she could keep her emotions out of it. Helena was exceptionally good at compartmentalizing her emotions, so much so that it was actually a fault of hers because it meant she tended to not deal with things she should until it was almost too late to do anything to fix the problems.

In regards to looking for sympathy, she wasn't wanting it right now. Getting sympathy would only tap into the emotions she was currently pushing away. If she was going to get emotional, she would rather do it later when she was alone, or with Zoey being there.

"There were no periods of sleeping, I was awake the entire time. No, I was not in a public place nor was I able to see or otherwise sense anything outside of my own mind. My only company were my thoughts and memories. Said thoughts were only terrible ones." Terrible ones that had taken a toll on her mind. Helena crossed her arms, managing to keep her face neutral while she stuffed her emotions down inside of her.

Rose had once asked if the Isolus went mad with boredom travelling through space for thousands of years. The Doctor nearly went mad with grief when Amy and Rory were taken from him by the Weeping Angels. He knew that Jack experienced nothingness when he died and before he came back....

Those thoughts went through the Doctor's mind quickly and a look of compassion comes to his features. Somehow his 'furious face' now has a softness to it that didn't seem possible a moment before. And he can piece the rest together, as only someone who's lived over two thousand years can understand.

"It drove you mad. Splintered you in ways I dare not imagine."

His thoughts flash briefly to the Master... Well, that would be a reason he'd rather not imagine it.

"How did you... put yourself together again. It's not like they have self-help books or therapists that would be qualified for such a thing."

Some people may say that Helena, and indeed no one, had deserved to be bronzed, but she felt that she deserved it sometimes. That was, of course, mostly the guilt talking in those moments. When she was stronger than the guilt, she knew she hadn't deserved it and that it had made her worse. Someone who experienced unimaginable grief and didn't know how to handle it needed to be shown how to handle it.

Needless to say, Helena had repressed hers and embraced anger and hate because they were easier. She could handle those emotions. But grief was not something she had been able to handle.

The compassion on his face did not go unnoticed. Helena's shoulders dropped slightly, into a slightly more relaxed and less defensive posture. It wasn't an easy topic to discuss, but she was better at it than she had been a couple years previous.

"I lost much to the experience, and it changed me in ways I had never thought possible before." She drew in a breath, reflecting back on things for some moments. "Someone stood up to me when I was so lost in the madness that I thought bringing about another Ice Age and killing us all was the answer. She saved me from myself. As cliché as it may sound, love is a healer. Not completely, but it has helped immensely. Friends, a boyfriend, and now a girlfriend, they have all helped me put myself together." Helena gave a lot of credit to those around her, including Zoey. But she knew they weren't the only ones who should get credit.

"I also have a strength and a will to live I never fully realized I had until I wanted to pull myself together. I wanted to be the best person I could be again, though it is difficult. That darkness I let myself fall into will always be there, but I do not wish to be consumed by it again."

And then her hand lifted and she began fingering the locket she wore around her neck. It was something she tended to do unconsciously and when she was thinking of her daughter. It had been her daughter's murder that had propelled her onto this path.

The Doctor can relate to that more than she can imagine. Different situations - his was first the destruction of Gallifrey, then going back in time to save it. Then learning he may or may not have saved it. It is still lost to him.

Until recently he would say 'Love' is not only too cliché but too human for him to understand. But, that's one thing PE and Clara had taught him. "Love isn't an emotion. It's a promise. And not even the Cybermen could destroy that part of humanity."

He notes the way she fingers her locket. It's not unlike the way he would stroke bits of the TARDIS, especially after she had been in that human body. It reminds him of how it felt when Susan... "You lost someone close to you."

It was stated as fact. He would have no way to know if it was lover, child or dear friend. Emotions were funny things that way. But he knew the gesture - a little too much.

Helena had fought against the notion of love, but after she'd stopped letting the anger consume her, letting Myka in had helped her more than she could ever say. Having someone who cared enough to help her despite everything had given her the proverbial push to get herself back on the right track. It was a constant fight with herself, but Helena was willing to wage it because it meant she could be the person she wanted to be, and perhaps she could be good enough for Zoey.

She gave a little nod at his statement. "My daughter. She was murdered when she was eight years old. That is the reason I built my time machine, to try and save her. I only succeeded in becoming a witness to her murder." And it had been that memory that had broken her, the one that weighed on her the most. Some days she felt like she'd failed as a mother, unable to protect her daughter when it had mattered the most. It was a guilt that cut deeper than any of the other guilt she carried, and it was also guilt she almost never let see the light of day.

But she also knew if she had saved Christina and altered the events of her life like that, chances were she would not be here now. She would not have met Myka or even Zoey. And she wasn't quite wanting to change those aspects of her life. For all the pain, anger and guilt she carried, she knew it was worth it for the people that she had in her life currently.

And there goes the sympathy as quickly as it had arrived. "Of course you did. It's what humans always do: 'Oh, I got a time machine. I can just change things willy-nilly.'"

This is why Time Lords watched over the cosmos. Because it needed to be protected from pudding brains who thought they could do whatever they want without repercussions. Honestly, sometimes it's enough to make him think he should just avoid humans all together now.

The berating was expected. It was what Helena always expected upon telling her tale. She hadn't been in her right mind back then, and she just gave a nod, her face remaining neutral and not giving away anything that she was thinking or feeling. "I made plenty of mistakes, and I am now living with the consequences of those mistakes."

Well, living was open to debate, really, because what Helena considered living wasn't most people's definition of it. Hers tended to be more along the lines of 'existing.' Though that was changing lately with having Zoey.

"I did it to myself, and I only blame myself." At least she took responsibility for it. Though Helena also put the blame on the shoulders of the men that had thought killing an eight year old girl was a good idea. Helena had made them pay for that little mistake. Very very painfully.

The Doctor raises an eyebrow at her last statement. It took some of the wind out of his sails. And with it, his voice softens slightly. Not with the compassion it had before, but he can accept that she at least takes responsibility, even if she may not understand things as he does.

"But you didn't manage to change anything. Which is for the best. Who knows what paradoxes you might have created."

One ordinary person is the most important thing in all of creation, after all. He had told Rose that when she had saved her father's life and Donna proved that too him time and again, just by being Donna.

That was one of Helena's skills, no one could berate her more than she berated herself for the things she had done. There was little he could say to her that she hadn't already told herself on this matter. Well, he could probably add more about the mechanics of manipulating time and the paradoxes she would have created, but the admonishment, she'd more than taken care of.

"Probably more than my world could handle. The paradox in my world was made by someone else using an Artifact to allow time travel. The price he paid was a very heavy one." Of course, that was mostly due to the downside of the Astrolabe having induced a psychotic break in Artie more than anything else. But even so, Leena was dead because of it while Helena, Mrs. Frederic and the Warehouse were alive and in tact.

"Nevertheless, had I altered my timeline by saving my daughter, I would not have known the people I came to know." And she also wouldn't have tried to destroy the world and kill a long list of people along the way. "And as much as I love my daughter, I am not certain that I would trade my friends for her now." Helena had her time with Christina, and she'd finally accepted that. Besides, she doubted she would have found someone like Myka in Victorian London, much less found someone like Zoey.

"So humans can learn. At least some of you. That's encouraging."

Makes it almost worth the sacrifices he makes again and again for them. Also, that's about as close to a compliment as he can give right now.

"So. Q. This place. All that happens here. You're a time-traveller. What are your thoughts?"

"Indeed, some of us can learn." Sometimes it took a while, but Helena at least learned her lesson. She'd learned it the hard way, but she'd learned it. The lesson learned just had not kicked in until someone had seen fit to step in and save her from herself first.

At his question, Helena quickly shifted gears. She was always far too eager to leave topics that dwelled too much on her grief and her mistakes. She'd done more than her share of dwelling on things she couldn't change, after all.

"I am still getting a handle on it, but as of right now, I am questioning how Q is able to take all of us out of our respective times and places. I'm not one for believing in gods or all-powerful beings, so I have to wonder if Q has some device allowing him to do this. Though I have met people who are wizards, so I'm not fully ruling out Q having some sort of magical ability, I simply first put my money on the fact he is able to manipulate the time-space continuum as well as bending, perhaps even breaking, the laws of physics as they stand in this universe with a device he himself built. Or perhaps one he got some some other race in this universe." Helena always was one who went to science first before giving any sort of credence to gods or all-powerful beings being involved.

"Which leads to the question of why he is doing this. It could be the age-old, rather exhausted ploy of him being bored and wanting to cause trouble in a round about way, using us suddenly appearing to give the Federation a headache trying to accommodate us. But one cannot rule out the fact perhaps he has a larger plan. Perhaps we are merely something meant to distract the Federation from a larger scale attack he is planning. Perhaps it is even a combination of the two considering I have heard Q causes mischief onboard this starship from time to time as well, which suggests he may be bored. But he potentially wants all of us distracted from his true intentions." Of which Helena had no idea what those were.

"He sounds like the Valeyard...."

Which he had yet to become. But a name that had come up again recently.

"Do we know anything about his species? Surely he can't be the only one."

The Doctor is one to talk about being 'only.'

"I have heard little of his species, only that he is powerful. Though I am willing to believe he is not the only one of his kind, which is both frightening and intriguing to explore." Helena pondered. "Considering that there may be others, are they like him in wishing to pull people across the dimensional barriers, or do they oppose him completely? Though I suppose the truth is more grey, as it always is. Q probably has his supporters as well as his detractors."

After all, life in and of itself was a simple series of various shades of grey. Nothing, or at least almost nothing, was strictly black or white. Everything was some combination of the two.

Though something the Doctor said had caught her interest.

"If I may ask, what is the Valeyard?" If he didn't want to answer, Helena wouldn't press. She well knew what it was like to not want to answer certain questions. Besides, the simple fact he'd related the Valeyard to Q could give her some basic understanding of what it was.

"We all have light and darkness inside us. The story goes that the Valeyard is an amalgamation of the darker side of... a Time Lord's Nature."

What? That's mostly true. No one needs to know it's specifically him - he's the last of his kind, anyone worth their salt should be able to work that out.

"But, without knowing more about this universe, I'm just tossing theories out and seeing what sticks."

So far, even the Valeyard theory is pretty weak.

"Ah, I see," she said with a nod. Helena did wonder if that was only a half truth considering his pause. However, she didn't feel it was her place to push that particular topic.

"Theories and asking questions are the best way to begin to figure things out. I, for one, would like to put an actual face to this Q. I do not like the fact that he feels like some disembodied boogeyman. Or a god-like creature that is never seen or felt, only spoken of. I prefer tangibles to intangibles." That was one of the many reasons Helena never had been the religious type. She was far too oriented in the sciences, in exploring the physical world, that intangible gods that could not be seen nor even proven to exist with science left her wanting.

"It's a good start. Though, sometimes just because something is intangible doesn't mean it's not dangerous. Especially if they're on a different plane."

He's thinking of the Boneless now. The 2-D creatures killing in order to learn about a 3-D world.

"But, if you have a way to contact this 'Q', I'd be very interested in meeting him myself."

And maybe tearing him apart for separating him from his TARDIS.

"True enough. There are unseen dangers in the natural universe." Global warming, a star's natural life cycle, black holes. Anything else that seemed to be more theoretical than proven real. Plus no one could actually touch things like a star's life cycle or black holes or global warming.

"If I find a way, I shall certainly let you know." Of course this meant Helena would be focusing some of her energy on figuring out a way to contact a being like Q. Or at least gaining his attention enough to warrant him reaching out.

Which was probably a terrible, no-good, bad idea, but it's something her mind would turn over. Especially when she couldn't sleep and needed things to work out.

It's okay. The Doctor does what he can to get people's attention and it never goes how he plans. Or the attention he gets is the wrong kind.

"Then I will do the same. I wonder how much noise we'd need to make to get him to appear?"

Helena sometimes gets the wrong kind of attention as well, but that tends to be because she goes about things in the wrong way at times. This, though, requires some thought.

"Perhaps it is less the amount of noise and more saying the right thing to attain his attention. Though that also requires learning more about him and what potentially can acquire said attention." She shrugged a shoulder. "Though if you wish to be technical, I believe we already have his attention. After all, he pulled us each here individually for some reason. Perhaps that is something we can use to acquire his further attention."

He looks thoughtful.

"Fair point. But how can we get him to appear, or materialise, or whatever it is he does? Right here. Right now. Or as soon as possible."

Helena pondered for a moment. "Considering he brought us here, he seems to enjoy playing with people. People in such a position enjoy their power and control over a situation. Perhaps finding a way to get around him would be the quickest way to get him here? By which I mean finding out a way to either get back to where we came from without him sending us there, or to simply utilize power similar to his."

Perhaps the former would be the easier of the two. As she didn't have any special abilities, she couldn't tell if being here dampened someone's powers. But to her, if the TARDIS could function again or something like it be functional, they could get around Q's power and most likely make him show himself.

"You've been here awhile. What happens when we make planet fall or stop somewhere for refuelling?"

He may be plotting an idea, but he needs more information first. And then, he'll have to learn patience. He hates patience.

"I have not experienced a planet fall yet while I have been here, so that I cannot say. Though I have heard that the planets that are more friendly we have more leeway on exploring it and interacting with the locals." To say that Helena was impatient to experience an alien planet was putting it mildly.

The Enterprise wasn't anywhere near as bad as being on the Egime had, so she wasn't going stir crazy. But she really did want to have an actual sun in the sky and be able to experience day and night. It might help with her insomnia problems.

He pauses in thought. "I see. Well, that's something at least."

He looks around. Almost lost. Almost. He's used to having a great deal more freedom than this. "And in between? We just... stay here?"

He might die of boredom.

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