ten_fwd | life hacks (aka jim, no) • open

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life hacks (aka jim, no) • open

It's been a hell of a few weeks. Month? Little over? You know, he's not even really sure. Jim has had a hell of a time since getting here. His suddenly very much alive sort of girlfriend (ex?) being here, which he's cool with, but---wow he's already had that breakdown thanks. Admiral Pike is here---that breakdown is still forthcoming. Let's not even bring up the fight with Khan that ended with both of them brigged for a while. Then there was Q dicking around with everyone with his brand of practical jokes that had Jim letting Khan out of the brig of his own volition, and putting a few crewman into Sickbay. But he's gonna just pretend feelings aren't real things that you, you know, feel.

Spock would be proud, if it didn't mean his method of coping with his not!feelings were to find something to drink that isn't that synthehol crap.

So, he heads into the lounge, and over to the replicator. He's tapping away at the controls, trying to avoid speaking to it directly cause he doesn't want to announce what he's doing to the entire lounge. Kind of defeats the purpose of stealth. He gets an angry sounding noise from it when he tries something, raises a brow, and shakes his head.

"Okay, fine." They can do this hard way. Jim is totally okay with that. "You're gonna give me what I want, or I'm going to rewrite every subroutine you have."

[as promised: jim is hacking the replicator for real alcohol. feel free to help out by way of lookout or whatnot. gaila will be helping him out, so if you would like her to be involved when you tag in, just tag in on their top-level comment. from then the tagging order will go jim + gaila + your character = SHENANIGANS. if not, just tag in for jim, and we'll have ourselves some wacky fun. cool either way.

also, as a note: ash will be scarce because of rl/homework type things, so please bear with a bit of slow/delay on tags.]

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"Ah, technicalities. Always fun. Even better with loopholes. And yeah, I can keep a secret. I'm good at that." He really is. Leaning up against the wall he gives Kirk an Impress Me look. How impressive is this secret you need me to keep, is his look.

"Loopholes are good. I can work with those." If he can just get his in place, it'll be even better. He continues to tap away at the controls, casting a glance over to Alec once in a while. He can't help a chuckle at the look he's giving.

"Well, I can't speak for everyone here." Another irritated sound from the replicator. "But I'm personally getting tired of that godawful synthehol. Usually, if I really felt I needed a little something, I'd just go to my CMO and see if he'd give over a little of his medicinal stockpile." Or go bother his Chief Engineer.

"But, unfortunately, that isn't an option at this juncture."

"Ffft... If that's your problem, I can help you there. I've got real alcohol. Good stuff too," Alec said, grinning conspiratorially.

He shoves a hand into a pocket of his great coat and after a moment pulls out a crystalline flask that is possibly too big to fit into said pocket. "My sister makes wine, so I always have some on me."

"I might take you up on that another time. See, if I get the replicator here to give me what I want it to, then everyone can have a little something."

He's just looking out for crew morale, okay. Call him Captain Fun. But he doesn't miss that the flask seems to have come from a too small pocket, so his eyebrows meet his hairline. "How did you---?"

"Until they reprogram it again to not give out the real stuff," Alec pointed out. Because he has no doubt they would do that. "They're no fun that way. One of the reasons why I never liked being in the military."

When he mentions the flask and pocket, he looks briefly surprised. He tends to forget about that. "Oh... It's a thing I can do."

"They have to find out it's happening first, and then they have to find out exactly what I did in order to get it to give it to me. I'm pretty good at covering my tracks." Except when he's being flashy and a showoff.

Like with the Kobayashi Maru.

"A thing you can do? Looks pretty neat, mind if I ask how?"

"True. So for a short time there will be good stuff. A long term solution would probably be better."

Yes. And while Alec's knowledge about computer programming - especially this era's programming - is negligible beyond being good at screwing it up, he thinks it's probably the difference between machine code and CSS5. But he doesn't say that. Because who knows, Kirk might actually pull it off.

"I can manipulate probability and the fabric of reality to make it do what I want... most of the time." He hesitates briefly. "Kinda like Q."

"That depends," he says. "When I'm not trying to be flashy, I'm actually pretty good at covering my tracks. And the only long term I can think of is replicating what we'd need for a still.

And I don't know how to make one of those." He's pretty sure he could maybe figure it out. He's also pretty sure he could probably blind half the crew if he wasn't careful.

"You can just---make things do what you want?" He catches the hesitation, but then he continues and he figures out why when he finishes. "I guess you don't tell many people that, considering the circumstances."

Don't worry, your secret is safe with him, Alec.

"I am very bad at not being flashy. I envy the lot of you that can."

He leaves the liquor making to his sister and just stays with the liquor drinking.

"Yeah. People will think I can send them home. Which I can't. And trying to explain it to them..."

There are Rules. Which he can't break as much as he'd like to. It's very much of a since he's a foreigner in this world, despite his powers, Q - as the native - has the first and last say in things. And Q says no one gets to go home unless he says so.

And thank you Jim. He appreciates that.

"Apparently, flashy is suddenly my middle name here. I wasn't informed." But he'll roll with it.

"People wouldn't understand, they'd get upset, and then you'd end up with some awkward times ahead on your hands."

Yeah, well, Q is a dick. A massive dick for playing with people's lives. Jim's had enough of high and mighty assholes thinking they are the end all be all and getting people hurt along the way. It's a joke now, sure, but the prank earlier could have been really bad. What if people start getting hurt?

No problem. He's not the sort to blab about people's personal business unless it can put others in danger. And it doesn't look like Alec is doing that, so he's safe.

Here Alec can't help but grin a little. "Some versions of you are. Or maybe future you is flashy." Alec isn't sure where on the timeline Jim currently is. Not that it means too much. It's like saying the 1800s New York, but none of the fine details. Things he knows about Kirk could be different for this one.

"Pretty much. And since we're all stuck here..." He shrugged.

Alec can't really say much about Q since that would be hypocritical. While he's never done - or will do - something on this scale, he can be quite the high and mighty asshole if he wants to be and can be quite good at it too.

"Some versions? You've met others?" Color him curious. "Is this one of those time things that's gonna give me a headache?" Technically Jim is in an alternate reality that branched off of the one they were both dragged into by Q.

"No sense in rocking the boat," he offers to the shrug.

Well, Alec is in good company. Jim's been called every iteration of cocky and arrogant that is probably in any thesaurus from any culture spanning across the Alpha Quadrant. And he's damn good at it.

"One or two others. Your part of the timeline hasn't ever been one that I've visited much," Alec admits, though he does know that Jim is a major branching off from this reality. Never visited, but his familiar enough with this one's to realize it.

"Yup. Though... if I was going to rock the boat, I'd try and do it in a truly spectacular manner." He gets a speculative look on his face. This will probably lead to bad things later.

That really is a defining Jim Kirk trait. Alec has found this true in every reality he's met a Kirk.

"I think there's enough people visiting, honestly." Technically they wouldn't exist if there hadn't been a black hole and an issue with time travel. He might be getting the hang of it. Maybe. Sort of. Okay, a little.

He sees that look and he leans in a bit to whisper. "Spectacular like what?"

Cause take away that gold shirt and a crew and ship? He's still that genius-level repeat offender that Pike found in a bar with napkins in his nose years back.

"I'm sure Picard agrees with you there." Ah yes. Black holes and time travel two of the best ways to screw up a timeline.

"I'm not exactly sure yet.... if I were to do something. Which I might not." And the sun might not shine.

Because really, Alec is so totally going to do something. It's as obvious as the nose on his face. He just needs to figure out what.

"Probably one of the only things we agree on." Yeah, he knows. He hates it.

"Yeah, sure. I'm pretty sure this would be the part where, if I were my First Officer, I would be giving me the Eyebrow." Which is to say, politely: bullshit.

"Has the you from this timeline shown up yet?" Because Alec is fairly certain it's only a matter of time before that happens.

"Heh. All right, I am probably going to do something, but I'm still not sure what," Alec said. "The trick is to do it without anyone realizing I did it."

"You mean the Prime Timeline me? I have no idea. Pretty sure Picard's head might explode if he sees another me of any kind at this point."

But that could be funny.

"Probably? Probably, he says." He grins and waggles his eyebrows. "Need a wingman?"

"I wouldn't call this the Prime Timeline. Everyone's timeline is their own Prime timeline. I mean, you definitely think this timeline is wrong. But yes, I think if Picard saw another you, I think he'd probably explode."

Oh, it'd be hilarious. As would the two Kirk's talking. They're so different... and yet the same.

No. Jim. Don't. Bad. Bad. Bad.

"Probably. There's rules around that I can't circumvent just yet. And when I do circumvent them, it'll be a one time shot so I have to plan it very carefully. It's like trying to find that crack in the wall that once people know about they'll fill it in." He grins madly, "But I would be quite honored, if I can figure out a way how, to have you help."

NOOO. BAD. BAD. BAD.

Edited 2015-07-03 01:26 (UTC)

"Hey, this is kind of my first rodeo with dimension-hopping or whatever you want to call it. I just call it like I see it. The only guy I ever met was from this one, and he seemed pretty adamant that things did not go the way they were supposed to go." Jim can't help a chuckle though.

"Might be worth it, though. Seeing him blow his top."

That grin? It's only getting wider. Oh, he's definitely down for helping if you come up with something. It's kind of like pranks, but on a cosmic scale, right? Someone should stop the two of them.

"I'm you're guy. I hacked Admiral Pike's command email when I was a cadet and signed him up for Orion Girls Weekly." Among other things.

"He has less of a perspective on these things that someone who has been around the block as often as I have... also he's Vulcan." He shrugged "No one likes seeing what they think is supposed to be real and true get broken."

It is a prank. Just on cosmic scale. Someone really should stop them. This won't end up well.

"Good to know! My computer knowledge is - despite how well traveled I am - sadly very basic." Then, "I would have loved to seen his face when that happened. Did you ever get caught?"

"Half-Vulcan," Jim interjects, pointing a finger at him. One of these days maybe that won't be something that gets his space undies in a twist. "Yeah, I guess. I mean, it wasn't exactly the best experience for me either."

Not to mention that brain sharing thing. That was high on the list of weird.

"I can supplement what you don't know," he says, chuckling. "Yeah, he caught me, or well, figured out it was me, but all he did was get me back."

A reprimand wouldn't have worked.

"Half-Vulcan who seems to prefer his Vulcan side to his human side. At least the one I know. Not sure about the one in your reality."

Brain sharing is ALWAYS weird. Alec never had a good experience with it.

"Good! It might be highly entertaining to make all the turbolifts play elevator music..."
Bad Alec. "He probably narrowed down the suspects with an 'who would be stupid enough to do this to me' and ended up with you."

No, probably not. Kirk is the sort of person where those things just bounce right off of him.

"It's a toss up, I'm not sure he appreciates it when I ask how the half-human side of him is doing too, since he tends to ignore that."

Yeah, well, it was his first time. First and last, he hopes. If the sharing part wasn't weird enough, the freight train of emotion that pummeled him after was downright awful.

Jim chuckles a little at that. "Elevator music? What about reprogramming the computer to make smart remarks?" Hey, he can be a sounding board. He shakes his head at the realization on the other man's part that it might come back on Jim.

"Trust me, I can take whatever he dishes out. Personally, I think he needs to get that space stick he's got shoved somewhere removed. Medical might be able to help with that."

If he can survive an Admiral and man he looked up to as a father figure choosing the most inopportune moments to cockblock him at bars---he can survive anything Picard throws at him, he's sure.

"You know what might be really interesting? A Spock that embraces his human side more than his Vulcan side." Alec tapped his chin thoughtfully. "It's too bad there's not a way I could bring a Spock here or one around that I could try and flip..."

And that is one of those statements Alec occasionally makes that shows his somewhat callous disregard for other people's lives. They don't come out very often, but sometimes they do. Because he says it in exactly the same way he's been talking about doing things using Kirk to screw around with the computer.

"Is that easy to do? I'm fairly certain elevator music would be easy... or if there was a way to make it rotate so once they fix the elevator music problem the computer starts insulting people and when they fix that it flips back to elevator music..."

Alec is fairly genre savvy in these regards. Not that he particularly cares mind you, he's just fairly good at knowing how the universe works.

"Yeah he can a real stick in the mud but..." What do you say about a man who survives torture and becoming one of the Borg while keeping his sanity intact, saying that the Klingons have no honor and walking away from it still alive and all the other things he will do... or has done in another reality? "He'll probably end up surprising you. I mean you don't become the captain of the Enterprise without having some balls."

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