ten_fwd | life hacks (aka jim, no) • open

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life hacks (aka jim, no) • open

It's been a hell of a few weeks. Month? Little over? You know, he's not even really sure. Jim has had a hell of a time since getting here. His suddenly very much alive sort of girlfriend (ex?) being here, which he's cool with, but---wow he's already had that breakdown thanks. Admiral Pike is here---that breakdown is still forthcoming. Let's not even bring up the fight with Khan that ended with both of them brigged for a while. Then there was Q dicking around with everyone with his brand of practical jokes that had Jim letting Khan out of the brig of his own volition, and putting a few crewman into Sickbay. But he's gonna just pretend feelings aren't real things that you, you know, feel.

Spock would be proud, if it didn't mean his method of coping with his not!feelings were to find something to drink that isn't that synthehol crap.

So, he heads into the lounge, and over to the replicator. He's tapping away at the controls, trying to avoid speaking to it directly cause he doesn't want to announce what he's doing to the entire lounge. Kind of defeats the purpose of stealth. He gets an angry sounding noise from it when he tries something, raises a brow, and shakes his head.

"Okay, fine." They can do this hard way. Jim is totally okay with that. "You're gonna give me what I want, or I'm going to rewrite every subroutine you have."

[as promised: jim is hacking the replicator for real alcohol. feel free to help out by way of lookout or whatnot. gaila will be helping him out, so if you would like her to be involved when you tag in, just tag in on their top-level comment. from then the tagging order will go jim + gaila + your character = SHENANIGANS. if not, just tag in for jim, and we'll have ourselves some wacky fun. cool either way.

also, as a note: ash will be scarce because of rl/homework type things, so please bear with a bit of slow/delay on tags.]

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"Rewrite every subroutine, huh?"

Here, Jim, have a sort of a girlfriend. A sort of girlfriend who is judging.

She remembers the hack job on the Koyabashi Maru, okay, and hack is about what she'd describe what he did to Spock's beautiful coding.

Jim straightens up a bit when he realizes that someone is coming up, but once he hears her voice, he knows it's all right. She won't tell anybody cause this isn't like the last time. The last time being when he used her to hack the Kobayashi Maru simulation back in the Academy.

Which he isn't going to bring up again, cause he's not looking to get smacked upside his head. He looks over at the judgey look he's getting though, and makes a face at her. Look, he was in a rush, ok? And it was also supposed to be obvious. Sometimes Jim wonders how long it would have taken Spock to find the subroutine if Gaila hadn't given him all the information she had.

And, wow, don't hate on his coding. He can be impressive when he wants to be.

"If I have to. I'd rather not be forced to go to such extremes, though." His mouth quirks up in a sly grin. "Wanna give a guy a hand?"

The universe may never know how long it'd have taken without Cadet betIlley's help. Well. Not their universe, anyway.

Still, she knows he can be impressive when he puts to his mind to it (even the hatchet job on the test had a certain flair to it, even if she'll judge for about forever) and so she tilts her head speculatively.

"Am assuming it's for a good cause," she says primly, moving closer.

In their private lexicon, 'good' has a fair few meanings. She's not exactly adverse to overcoming mischief. Or red tape.

"I don't think threatening it'll work," Alec said, appearing next to Kirk. "I mean, if threatening technology did, then innumerable people all over the multiverse would be a lot happier."

He peers over the man's shoulder trying to see what he's doing.

Tom was watching from the far corner, not fighting the upturned smile and bubbling laughter that came up out of his mouth.

"It might be my imagination, or lack of paying attention in school, but haven't replicators changed a bit since your time? Want some help?"

And his friend was interesting. Tom hadn't seen an Orion since, well, since he was in the Alpha Quadrant. "What exactly are you trying to get it to do? I'm assuming it's not a jig."

Jim was about to respond to Gaila about the Very Important mission he was on to provide the good people of this Enterprise with real drinks, when he heard the laughter, and then Tom's voice.

"Well, we don't call them that, to start. Food synthesizers. Uses a programmed card to give you choices, I would know cause Bones sometimes tortures me with salads and no coffee," he says, giving a grin. "I'd never turn down help." He's sure Gaila wouldn't either.

Jim lowers his voice a little and looks between them. "What we're trying to get into is real alcohol, because I may start crying into my fake whiskey if I have to drink another drop of that synthehol crap."

"You'd be surprised what it can do. Usually, I wouldn't want to resort to that sort of thing. I prefer the gentle approach," he says, casting a glance at Alec while he looks over his shoulder.

"I'm Jim, by the way."

"Not as surprised as you'd think. What are you trying to get it to do?" He asks curiously. He's seen and used replicators before, after all, even if he looks like a reject from a fantasy novel. "Alec. Nice to meetcha."

"It might give you what you want if you ask it nicely," Sinthia says, and the narration rather hopes Jim is okay with this bit of wisdom coming from an eight-year-old. "What are you trying to get out of it?"

When Pike spotted Jim poking at the replicator like that, he knew nothing good could come of it. This was Jim and something that can produce almost any known food in the universe. Nothing good could come of this.

But something made Pike approach him anyway and as soon as the question left his mouth, he knew he was probably going to regret asking it.

"Do I want to know what you're doing?"

"Nice to meet you too. I'm trying to get it to give me something that it technically is not allowed to give me."

He waggles his eyebrows at him and grins. "Can you keep a secret, Alec?"

"Well," he looks down at the voice, and offers a small grin to the kid. "I tried that, but it doesn't want to play nice." Jim is a-ok with the wisdom coming from an eight year old.

"Something we have here, but just a little different." Real, to be exact. Synthehol does all of nothing for him, and he's pretty sure he's not the only one. "But it's not exactly easy to get to, so I have to rewrite a few things first."

He stops a minute. "I'm Jim. What's your name?"

"Ah, technicalities. Always fun. Even better with loopholes. And yeah, I can keep a secret. I'm good at that." He really is. Leaning up against the wall he gives Kirk an Impress Me look. How impressive is this secret you need me to keep, is his look.

Oh, come on. Not everything he does is suspicious. Like--most things aren't. Some things. You know what? You'll thank him later and remember why he's your favorite, ok?

Jim straightens a little at hearing his voice, looks back, and offers a crooked smile.

"Me, sir? I'm just having a polite conversation with the replicator."

"You want alcohol," she says bluntly, turning it into the faintest of questions by the way her eyebrows lift. No, he didn't say anything out loud about it, but Sinthia has this funny way of knowing what someone's thinking. Funny how telepathy works.

"My name's Sinthia. Why do you want it?"

"I don't think the replicator is enjoying the conversation much, based on that sound it just made."

Jim had to be up to something but Pike wasn't sure he wanted to know what it was. That could be incriminating.

He doesn't understand all of this technology, so he has no idea what's going on here. He just knows that he was going to get some food, and then there was someone in his way. Someone who seems to be threatening the thing.

"Does that sort of language accomplish what you want it to?"

With people it can, he knows, but with this strange machine?

"Loopholes are good. I can work with those." If he can just get his in place, it'll be even better. He continues to tap away at the controls, casting a glance over to Alec once in a while. He can't help a chuckle at the look he's giving.

"Well, I can't speak for everyone here." Another irritated sound from the replicator. "But I'm personally getting tired of that godawful synthehol. Usually, if I really felt I needed a little something, I'd just go to my CMO and see if he'd give over a little of his medicinal stockpile." Or go bother his Chief Engineer.

"But, unfortunately, that isn't an option at this juncture."

He stops at the sudden, and very blunt way she puts it, blinking a little rapidly. Huh, that was weird. "I'm that obvious, huh?"

There's teasing in his tone, but that doesn't mean he isn't still keeping an eye out around him to make sure no one else, that shouldn't know, overhears.

"Nice to meet you, Sinthia," he grins at her. "And, well, let's just say the stuff we've got here isn't really all that good. I'm pretty sure I can talk our friendly replicator here into something better."

If it will just---really now. Seriously. Every. Last. Subroutine.

"It'll warm up to me." He's confident, but isn't he always? Another clanging argument from the replicator.

"Come on, I thought you and I were getting to know each other. Stop giving me the cold shoulder."

The Enterprise would never do this to him. They have a special relationship.

If you ever need a hand with that, Jim is happy to give you a crash course. You know, when he isn't currently fighting with said technology. He looks back when the other man comes up, and chuckles softly.

"Well, my sweet nothings were getting me all of nowhere." He steps back a little. "Sorry, you can go ahead though."

Jim might---be a while.

"Ffft... If that's your problem, I can help you there. I've got real alcohol. Good stuff too," Alec said, grinning conspiratorially.

He shoves a hand into a pocket of his great coat and after a moment pulls out a crystalline flask that is possibly too big to fit into said pocket. "My sister makes wine, so I always have some on me."

He wouldn't be the first who had tried to explain it. He probably wouldn't be the last, either.

"What you're doing there is more entertaining than anything I'd get out of it."

She blinks at him and her lips thin for a moment. "Everyone's that obvious to me. Almost everyone," she amends, because there are a very few people here whose minds she gets only something like radio static from; not that she minds, really. They just don't outnumber, or even get close to, the people that she can read.

And does. Because habits die hard.

"I've heard people complain about the synthetic alcohol before," Sinthia murmurs. "Is there an override code you're supposed to have to get it?" Because that she can retrieve. Really, she's good at sneaking in and out. The doors don't even have to open. It's interesting to see.

Gaila doesn't grin, nothing so obvious. She compresses her grin into a cheerful, delightedly wicked little smile, her bright blue eyes getting brighter.

Not that Jim had managed to get to the point of telling her what they are doing before the other man turned up, but alcohol? Proper alcohol?

Sigh her up and show her the damn coding.

"And he's only been here a couple of months," she adds. "It's been like a year. I mean, I know Guinan keeps the real stuff somewhere, buuuuut-"

It could be right here.

"You interested?"

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