life hacks (aka jim, no) • open

[caelus]

It's been a hell of a few weeks. Month? Little over? You know, he's not even really sure. Jim has had a hell of a time since getting here. His suddenly very much alive sort of girlfriend (ex?) being here, which he's cool with, but---wow he's already had that breakdown thanks. Admiral Pike is here---that breakdown is still forthcoming. Let's not even bring up the fight with Khan that ended with both of them brigged for a while. Then there was Q dicking around with everyone with his brand of practical jokes that had Jim letting Khan out of the brig of his own volition, and putting a few crewman into Sickbay. But he's gonna just pretend feelings aren't real things that you, you know, feel.

Spock would be proud, if it didn't mean his method of coping with his not!feelings were to find something to drink that isn't that synthehol crap.

So, he heads into the lounge, and over to the replicator. He's tapping away at the controls, trying to avoid speaking to it directly cause he doesn't want to announce what he's doing to the entire lounge. Kind of defeats the purpose of stealth. He gets an angry sounding noise from it when he tries something, raises a brow, and shakes his head.

"Okay, fine." They can do this hard way. Jim is totally okay with that. "You're gonna give me what I want, or I'm going to rewrite every subroutine you have."


[as promised: jim is hacking the replicator for real alcohol. feel free to help out by way of lookout or whatnot. gaila will be helping him out, so if you would like her to be involved when you tag in, just tag in on their top-level comment. from then the tagging order will go jim + gaila + your character = SHENANIGANS. if not, just tag in for jim, and we'll have ourselves some wacky fun. cool either way.

also, as a note: ash will be scarce because of rl/homework type things, so please bear with a bit of slow/delay on tags.]

Comments

[writes_with_digital_ink]

"Rewrite every subroutine, huh?"

Here, Jim, have a sort of a girlfriend. A sort of girlfriend who is judging.

She remembers the hack job on the Koyabashi Maru, okay, and hack is about what she'd describe what he did to Spock's beautiful coding.

[caelus]

Jim straightens up a bit when he realizes that someone is coming up, but once he hears her voice, he knows it's all right. She won't tell anybody cause this isn't like the last time. The last time being when he used her to hack the Kobayashi Maru simulation back in the Academy.

Which he isn't going to bring up again, cause he's not looking to get smacked upside his head. He looks over at the judgey look he's getting though, and makes a face at her. Look, he was in a rush, ok? And it was also supposed to be obvious. Sometimes Jim wonders how long it would have taken Spock to find the subroutine if Gaila hadn't given him all the information she had.

And, wow, don't hate on his coding. He can be impressive when he wants to be.

"If I have to. I'd rather not be forced to go to such extremes, though." His mouth quirks up in a sly grin. "Wanna give a guy a hand?"

[writes_with_digital_ink]

The universe may never know how long it'd have taken without Cadet betIlley's help. Well. Not their universe, anyway.

Still, she knows he can be impressive when he puts to his mind to it (even the hatchet job on the test had a certain flair to it, even if she'll judge for about forever) and so she tilts her head speculatively.

"Am assuming it's for a good cause," she says primly, moving closer.

In their private lexicon, 'good' has a fair few meanings. She's not exactly adverse to overcoming mischief. Or red tape.

[captainproton]

Tom was watching from the far corner, not fighting the upturned smile and bubbling laughter that came up out of his mouth.

"It might be my imagination, or lack of paying attention in school, but haven't replicators changed a bit since your time? Want some help?"

And his friend was interesting. Tom hadn't seen an Orion since, well, since he was in the Alpha Quadrant. "What exactly are you trying to get it to do? I'm assuming it's not a jig."

Finally here and Mags would like both his geeklings.

[magnetic_magpie]

After his time with the New Mutants, he had developed a sense of "the children are up to something/i>". Too late, for when he really needed it. But he was still in tune with that sense and when he rounded a corner and saw Jim and Gaila - well. That sense almost audibly rang like a bell.

Quietly he eased himself over, a faint upturn on his mouth. "Are we having difficulties or has the replicator replaced the kitchen in the social aspect as well?"

yessss

[caelus]

If there were anyone on that ship that could get in trouble quicker than the word could leave your mouth? It was Jim and Gaila. The sort of thing they got into when they finished their studies early and then got bored at the Academy---it was awful. Ask Pike, he's got stories.

And lots of awful subscriptions to terrible magazines.

Jim straightened a little as he heard someone speak, but once he realized it was Erik, he relaxed again.

"Difficulties is a word. Broken is another," he lowers his voice conspiratorially, eyes bright with mirth. "You know, the broken where it doesn't give you anything but synthehol. Which is depressing."

:D

[writes_with_digital_ink]

"And a tragedy," Gaila puts in, her expressive mouth pursing a little into an adorable pout. "Although the comment about the social aspect is a fair one, there's no sense of communal mealtimes, and alcohol has always been a social lubricant, so, really, in their efforts to promote harmony, everyone's kinda ignoring a lot of what makes harmonious crews work."

Yes, that is all one sentence. No, she doesn't seem particularly out of breath at the end.

Gaila is...like this.

[element_wizard]

"I don't think threatening it'll work," Alec said, appearing next to Kirk. "I mean, if threatening technology did, then innumerable people all over the multiverse would be a lot happier."

He peers over the man's shoulder trying to see what he's doing.

[caelus]

"You'd be surprised what it can do. Usually, I wouldn't want to resort to that sort of thing. I prefer the gentle approach," he says, casting a glance at Alec while he looks over his shoulder.

"I'm Jim, by the way."

[element_wizard]

"Not as surprised as you'd think. What are you trying to get it to do?" He asks curiously. He's seen and used replicators before, after all, even if he looks like a reject from a fantasy novel. "Alec. Nice to meetcha."

[caelus]

"Nice to meet you too. I'm trying to get it to give me something that it technically is not allowed to give me."

He waggles his eyebrows at him and grins. "Can you keep a secret, Alec?"

[abyssum_invocat]

"It might give you what you want if you ask it nicely," Sinthia says, and the narration rather hopes Jim is okay with this bit of wisdom coming from an eight-year-old. "What are you trying to get out of it?"

[caelus]

"Well," he looks down at the voice, and offers a small grin to the kid. "I tried that, but it doesn't want to play nice." Jim is a-ok with the wisdom coming from an eight year old.

"Something we have here, but just a little different." Real, to be exact. Synthehol does all of nothing for him, and he's pretty sure he's not the only one. "But it's not exactly easy to get to, so I have to rewrite a few things first."

He stops a minute. "I'm Jim. What's your name?"

[abyssum_invocat]

"You want alcohol," she says bluntly, turning it into the faintest of questions by the way her eyebrows lift. No, he didn't say anything out loud about it, but Sinthia has this funny way of knowing what someone's thinking. Funny how telepathy works.

"My name's Sinthia. Why do you want it?"

[whistles_loudly]

When Pike spotted Jim poking at the replicator like that, he knew nothing good could come of it. This was Jim and something that can produce almost any known food in the universe. Nothing good could come of this.

But something made Pike approach him anyway and as soon as the question left his mouth, he knew he was probably going to regret asking it.

"Do I want to know what you're doing?"

[caelus]

Oh, come on. Not everything he does is suspicious. Like--most things aren't. Some things. You know what? You'll thank him later and remember why he's your favorite, ok?

Jim straightens a little at hearing his voice, looks back, and offers a crooked smile.

"Me, sir? I'm just having a polite conversation with the replicator."

[whistles_loudly]

"I don't think the replicator is enjoying the conversation much, based on that sound it just made."

Jim had to be up to something but Pike wasn't sure he wanted to know what it was. That could be incriminating.

[seekingcrocodile]

He doesn't understand all of this technology, so he has no idea what's going on here. He just knows that he was going to get some food, and then there was someone in his way. Someone who seems to be threatening the thing.

"Does that sort of language accomplish what you want it to?"

With people it can, he knows, but with this strange machine?

[caelus]

If you ever need a hand with that, Jim is happy to give you a crash course. You know, when he isn't currently fighting with said technology. He looks back when the other man comes up, and chuckles softly.

"Well, my sweet nothings were getting me all of nowhere." He steps back a little. "Sorry, you can go ahead though."

Jim might---be a while.

[seekingcrocodile]

He wouldn't be the first who had tried to explain it. He probably wouldn't be the last, either.

"What you're doing there is more entertaining than anything I'd get out of it."

[magneticxman]

Though Jim might contest the idea, Lorna thought she was the person most in need of a drink on the Enterprise that day. Her father issues were only getting worse with exposure and she wasn't ready to deal with them anymore.

She almost passed by Kirk to use another replicator until his made an angry noise and he started to do something to it. She paused, looked around for security until she was satisfied there was none, and then approached Jim. "What are you doing?"

[caelus]

Well, he may not have the monopoly on dad issues, but he's willing to share a bottle if he can get his hands on one. She comes up just when the replicator makes an unpleasant sound at him again, and then asks what he's up to.

"Me? Reprogramming this thing to do something a little more useful."

Is he supposed to be doing that? N o p e.

[magneticxman]

There's only one thing the replicators wouldn't make (two if one counted pot, which Lorna did sometimes more than others). Her eyebrows raised up and she laughed. "You're my new favorite person. Need a hand? I have a way with machines, kind of." Most of the current tech was beyond her understanding, but magnetic powers meant she could still manipulate them. She just had to know how.

[rikered]

There have been a few incidents onboard involving the replicators with some entertaining results for the crew members on board. When they get the ping that someone is at it again, Riker volunteers to go down and check on them. He takes the shortest route across the bar to prevent too many people calling out greetings before he surprise his target.

"Rewriting every subroutine will take you awhile," he says with amusement. "A couple of centuries at least." He leans forward to catch sight of the commands. "What are you up to?"

[caelus]

You know, if Jim had known that he would have taken more care than usual in order to cover his tracks. As it stands, he figures he'll have time for that later. Oops. It's Riker's move to cross the shortest distance across the lounge that gives him the advantage, and Jim is only just lucky enough that he manages to not jump like the kid that got caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

Or the cadet that hacked a simulation to change the rules and win an no-win scenario.

He does straighten though, the amusement tells him that so far, he's not quite in danger of another brig visit. "Maybe, but what choice do I have. She's putting me on the couch practically. I'm not a fan of lover's quarrels." There's no real sense in trying to hide the commands he's rewriting and inputting, so he doesn't.

"I'm just looking for something we don't have on hand around here, that's all."

Not a lie. Definitely not a complete truth.