ten_fwd | life hacks (aka jim, no) • open

It's been a hell of a few weeks. Month? Little over? You know, he's not even really sure. Jim has had a hell of a time since getting here. His suddenly very much alive sort of girlfriend (ex?) being here, which he's cool with, but---wow he's already had that breakdown thanks. Admiral Pike is here---that breakdown is still forthcoming. Let's not even bring up the fight with Khan that ended with both of them brigged for a while. Then there was Q dicking around with everyone with his brand of practical jokes that had Jim letting Khan out of the brig of his own volition, and putting a few crewman into Sickbay. But he's gonna just pretend feelings aren't real things that you, you know, feel.

Spock would be proud, if it didn't mean his method of coping with his not!feelings were to find something to drink that isn't that synthehol crap.

So, he heads into the lounge, and over to the replicator. He's tapping away at the controls, trying to avoid speaking to it directly cause he doesn't want to announce what he's doing to the entire lounge. Kind of defeats the purpose of stealth. He gets an angry sounding noise from it when he tries something, raises a brow, and shakes his head.

"Okay, fine." They can do this hard way. Jim is totally okay with that. "You're gonna give me what I want, or I'm going to rewrite every subroutine you have."

[as promised: jim is hacking the replicator for real alcohol. feel free to help out by way of lookout or whatnot. gaila will be helping him out, so if you would like her to be involved when you tag in, just tag in on their top-level comment. from then the tagging order will go jim + gaila + your character = SHENANIGANS. if not, just tag in for jim, and we'll have ourselves some wacky fun. cool either way.

also, as a note: ash will be scarce because of rl/homework type things, so please bear with a bit of slow/delay on tags.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He wouldn't be the first who had tried to explain it. He probably wouldn't be the last, either.

"What you're doing there is more entertaining than anything I'd get out of it."

Fair enough. They'll see how this adventure goes, and play it by ear from there.

"Fighting with it? Cause a whole lot of angry noises is all I'm getting at the moment. Hopefully she'll warm up to me soon, though." Last thing he needs is to get caught by someone willing to roll on him for what he's doing. He's already not on the best of terms with certain higher ranking officers aboard this ship. Namely one.

"Have you done something to offend her?" It's not strange to refer to parts of the ship this way. He refers to his own ship like that, after all. And perhaps it's easier to think of all this strange technology as a woman. Make it happy and it will make you happy. "Perhaps curses aren't the best way to deal with that."

"Well, maybe? I'm trying to ask nicely for something that I don't think she's allowed to give me," he says. It's strange in Jim's time to. Most of his crew, especially Spock and Bones, thinks it's horribly outdated. Jim and Scotty are the only ones who refer to the Enterprise as such.

"But she's giving me a big, fat no, so that means I'm gonna have to change her mind another way." He nods, conceding that getting upset at it may not be the best way.

"Maybe she's just not used to me yet. I come from a different version of her. An earlier one." He stops, again, realizing he completely forgot something, and offers out a hand. "I'm Jim, by the way."

To anyone else, mention of being from an earlier version of something might cause confusion or bring about a lot of questions. For him, not only as a result of ending up here, but also from his recent trip into his own past, he knows exactly how complicated timelines can be. "Captain Killian Jones." Maybe that will work better than introducing himself as Captain Hook seems to do. Even if the hook is still easily visible.

"It's a shame she's not a real woman. She might be more cooperative that way. What is it that you're trying to get her to do?"

God, he really, really is starting to hate time travel and the headaches that come with it.

"Nice to meet you, Captain." It's by far a better meeting than his first one with the captain of this vessel.

"Oh, come on," he reaches out for the bulkhead above the replicator, patting it gently. "She's all real woman, just a different sort is all." He grins, and his voice drops to a whisper. "Trying to get something a little more fun than synthehol."

"In that case, I promise I won't tell." There have been many times he wished he could do the same thing, but his limited understanding of this technology hinders that. "I'm a little unclear on how exactly this works. If it's familiar with something, then it will provide it when someone asks for it, correct?"

"I appreciate it," he says, turning only enough to look at the readout, but not enough that he wants to disrupt their conversation.

"Basically, yeah. These are more advanced than what I'm used to. In my time, they are food synthesizers and---" Jim stops long enough to fish through his pocket and produce a small card. "---you use these to get pre-programmed meals."

"This is a lot nicer, trust me."

That card doesn't mean much to him either, but since it confuses him more, he supposes that statement must be true.

"So if I understand it correctly, then in order for this to provide something more fun than synthehol in the future, all that would require is for someone to familiarize it with something more fun than synthehol?"

"Almost." Jim says, nodding. "It should, technically, be familiar with the basics, since it does give the synthehol, but there are security lockouts that keep it from giving out anything else. Which are the hard part to get around here."

And without getting caught. Which might still happen.

He can't help with that, but at least it makes enough sense to him that he doesn't need to ask for clarification. "What have they got against real alcohol, anyway? Why build it so that it only provides synthehol?"

"Probably to avoid drinking in excess or issues aboard ship." He offers as an answer.

"I don't really agree. But then on my ship I just kind of look the other way and pretend I don't know my Chief Engineer has a still in Main Engineering."

"I never had a problem on my ship." Although to be fair, his ship is much smaller than this one, and he partook just as much as the crew did. He also didn't stand for any misbehavior.

"If this doesn't work, then perhaps your chief engineer could build another still."

Exactly. No excess, work still gets done, and no problems. That's the way you do it.

"If only," Jim starts. "He's not here. It's, uh, just me right now. So this is what I'm trying first. I'm not keen on burning my eyebrows off if it explodes, like he did."

"If that's the sort of thing that happens, I'm not sure he's a very good engineer." Don't listen to him. He doesn't know what an engineer is. Just that they're probably not meant to make things explode.

"It only happened the once, and it was a learning experience. No repeats." And no, they don't normally make things explode, but given the volatile nature of what he was working with, he can be forgiven.

"These things that are more fun than synthehol, are they something that can be acquired when the ship makes port?" He's never been planetside yet, but perhaps he'll make a point of visiting next time he has a chance.

"Depends on where we make port and whether or not they are illegal in the Federation. Like Romulan Ale? That's a big no. Saurian brandy, though. That's some good stuff."

life hacks (aka jim, no) • open

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