ten_fwd | Hauted by inner demons - OTA Forward dated to early hours Friday

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Hauted by inner demons - OTA Forward dated to early hours Friday

The Doctor has a terrible secret that he has tried to keep somewhat hidden since his return.

He is older. Four point five billion years older. He might have mentioned it to a few people, but he hasn't properly explained to anyone how that all happened. "Stuck in a place" was probably as specific as he got. But the terrible truth was about to be revealed to everyone in the worst way he could imagine.

River might realise what's going on, at least in theory. But it had been very early days on Darillium when he had been forced to tell her. Even in his time now, that seems like ages ago. And for her... well... it had been substantially longer.

The Doctor woke to find himself back in his castle. He sighed heavily. It had been an odd dream anyway. Stuck on a ship that was pure fiction. That was almost worse than being stuck here. At least he knew how the castle worked now.

He got up, dressed and continued his search for Room 12.

He hadn't seen the Veil in some time. He checked the monitors and they showed it to be a surprising distance from him. Good. That means he had more time than he thought. Well, that was good. Maybe if he could confuse it enough, he could get more than his tested maximum of eighty-two minutes.

[ooc: The Doctor will be wandering all over the ship, thinking he is in his Confession Dial. Anyone who happens upon the Doctor will be infused into his nightmare. Some might take on the image of the Veil and others might become 'haunts' from other parts of the Doctor's life. Depending on how the Doctor incorporates your character into the dream will dictate his reaction to them. The goal, should your character choose to accept it, is to wake the Doctor. But, be aware, he believes his life is under threat from the Veil, so he is likely to do a lot of things to try to get somewhere safe. This includes but is not limited to hurting others.]

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"Well, you've pretty much defined the Dial, haven't you?"

And he's getting bored so he's going to start searching for another way out. There has to be some way out. Even if it's just the ventilation shaft.

"Have I now? Tell me, Doctor, I have enough in me that I had regeneration energy. Will I have one of these myself?" Give him a puzzle, something to think of. Even if it hurt.

"I told you no more confessions. I might answer it if you were who you claim to be."

But, as of right now, she had yet to prove herself as such.

"Mmmmm, no, I think if you actually believed me, you'd be trying to have very nearly any other conversation. Which, of course, means that some part of you realizes I am real my love."

"I don't run from River. Not any more."

Especially not after her statement about him not loving her. He had intended on spending those 24 years with her and ensuring she would never doubt his love for her again. In his mind, if that was her, she'd be breaking down this door to get to him, consequences about the Creature be damned.

The consequence that scared her was him harming himself, or doing something he's later regret too badly. She could have caution, she could take her time. He wasn't going anywhere. She would take care of him, as best she could.

"You see, you say that, but you're in there, and I'm out here. You've spent most of today running from me, sweetie."

He has been working his way around the room. He found a panel tucked behind some shelves. That was fine. His sonic was good at shelves. River might be able to hear his sonic going.

"Because you're not her."

Simple statement of fact in his mind. Again, he didn't think River would have ever threatened to kill herself. She was a woman of action, not of empty words.

And when she heard the sonic, she got to her feet. "I'm a woman if keeping my husband safe, even from himself." Especially from him self. But the sonic meant her time was up. Too dangerous to use the squareness gun when she had no clue how far from the door he was. At least... the proper way.

River drew the gun again, made sure all the safeties were engaged, then slammed the butt of it at a weak point in the door. Great thing that odd ability she had the other day was. She learned ever so much. Sonic would have been better, but she'd take what she could get.

"Hello, sweetie," she said as the door opened.

Except she waited just a hair too long. The Doctor had made his way into the ventilation shaft and she can probably hear the sonic activating again to lock the cover back up.

The Doctor had been studying the schematics. While he doesn't quite have them memorised, he is fairly certain how to make his way around the ship from it's insides.

She was not pleased, and she pushed at the cover to try and get it open before he could activate the lock. Very much never leaving the sonic behind again, lines of her dress be *****ed.

"Will you just wait for once?" she asked. "You can be so infuriating sometimes!"

No he can't sit still, or the creature will get him. But if she thinks to use her PADD, he'll be easy to locate. He'll be in the one place on the entire ship he feels somewhat safe: the cargo room near the TARDIS.

Though, near would be an understatement. He'll be perched on top of it - meditating.

When she couldn't get to him that way, she did stop back at her quarters for the sonic. And to replicate a bag and fill it with anything she thought they might possibly need. She really wanted Gallafrayian pockets. The bag was somewhat unwieldy. Still. She checked with the computer again to track him down.

It was the first time she had seen the Tardis here. And she did stop just inside the doorway for a moment, staring at her, before she proceeded in. She stood under him, looking up.

"Very symbolic, my love," she said dryly. "Now, would you mind coming down and actually talking to me? Just for a change of pace."

He had come to himself - a bit, in his time near the TARDIS. Although he could not properly access her, touching her and being this close to her, allowed enough of their telepathic bonds to wake him from his... nightmare.

He doesn't open his eyes. Doesn't move, except to speak. Oh he was still running, but in a different way and for an entirely different reason now. His words were very quiet. River could probably hear them only because of the few Time Lord abilities she possessed.

"Did I hurt you?"

It was the most important question. He wasn't sure - could never be sure when he had such issues... So he has to ask. He could look over himself and see he had no injuries.

"Can I take it from the question that you're back to the here and now, my love?" she asked, "Or do you still think I'm out to kill you? Because it's been nearly a lifetime for me, more for you, since I last tried."

She leaned back against the Tardis, looking up at him, though she couldn't see him from that angle. But she was close. Close enough to feel the wrongness in the wood behind her, close enough to hear when he speaks. close enough that if he reached down, and she up, they could touch.

He swallows thickly at her reply. It's answer enough, even if he would have preferred a more direct reply. He senses her presence. How close she is. But he can't bring himself to come down from his perch, nor even to lower a hand.

"I don't have control when I'm in that state... Everything around me is incorporated into whatever experience triggered the event."

And he hates himself for it. More than he can possibly explain.

"Then we'll just have to either figure out a way for you to regain control, or better, break out of that state. If nothing else, it gives us something to do." And she was going to smile as if this was a fun game. Because that would probably tick him off, and a ticked off Doctor was better than a self loathing Doctor. And a ticked off Doctor...? Well... didn't matter the face, push him hard enough and he finds answers. Not always answers he could except if he were calmer, but nearly always the answers they needed.

He's too caught up in what happened to be angry. Besides, her trying to help him. Properly help him, would never anger him.

"I thought I was over this. I thought...."

Doesn't matter what he thought, he is so very wrong.

"Did I harm anyone?"

River when they were spending linear time together would volunteer such information, but the River who was here? Had the future really changed her so much?

"Only yourself, my love," she said softly. "though apparently my attempt to confuse you by acting not myself only reinforced your certainty," she added wryly.

"If you're not going to come down, give me a hand up?"

"I very much dislike both those options."

He'd regenerate from embarrassment alone, if he thought it would make things better. But it's always a craps-shoot for him. But after a few moments, his hand extends down to her. It's more of a peace offering than anything.

She took his hand, held it, squeezed it, but said, "If you'd rather I stay down here, I will."

"It's a roller-coaster with you. Make up your mind."

Meaning it's her choice, he doesn't care, but be decisive. He's not in the mood for people to not be decisive.

What she wanted to do was whatever was going to help him. But if he was leaving it to her... She anchored on his hand and set about trying to climb the outside of the TARDIS, glad for once that it was smaller on the outside. And that she was athletic. Not that this dress was really made for climbing.

Once she's settled next to him, the Doctor returns to his quiet, contemplative mood. He's not in the same position as he was when she found him, but everything about his body conveyed: 'I'm thinking.'

If River doesn't speak, the silence probably carries on for some minutes. When he finally speaks, his voice is soft and low. As if afraid to break the silence.

"Why would you say I harmed myself?"

She leaned against him lightly, listening to the question, and giving it serious thought before she replied, "how could you not?"

"I'm not injured."

It's the truth, even if he knows that's not what she's asking. He rubs his face, trying to ease the tension away.

"I'm all right."

But for how long...?

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