A very violent reentry - OTA - Spoilers for the 10th doctor's era
2016-Feb-21, Sunday 02:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
"All the time we've been together, you knew I was coming here," she had said. She was right - about the library. But she was wrong, so wrong, about the Enterprise. Call it a joke of Q's. She wasn't in a laughing mood.
Professor River Song had done what she had to do. Perhaps somewhere in her mind she had always wondered if she would really do what needed to be done when it came down to it. throw herself in the way of a projectile to save him, yes. But when there was thought? When there was time for thought? She offered to give herself to save him, but hadn't she known, hadn't she always known that he wouldn't let her? That he would use the danger to her to do what he wouldn't when he had been the one at risk? She knew the Doctor. She loved the Doctor. Every form she had ever met, and the ones she only knew of as stories. She knew that to save everyone, he would give his life. Some days she didn't half wonder if he wanted to die. She didn't think she could ever love him enough to let him.
But when it was someone else taking the risk, then... ah then he would see another way clear. Another way out. Then he would come up with an impossible plan and pull it off. He did so hate to lose. So, somewhere back in the depths of her mind she wondered if she would ever have the courage not to say she was going to step between him and danger, and not to do it on instinct and emotion, but to stare death in the face and give herself to it to save him.
And now she knew. This time there was no hope for a crazy last minute plan. She knew that. And she knew he knew it. Because her journal was full. Because there was no time for another plan. For the two of them who treated space and time like a giant play yard... No. For her. For her there was no time left. So she did what she had to. She didn't say she was going to take his place, she didn't give him the chance to argue. She knocked him out, handcuffed him, and took his place. River Song worked at the controls.
But he came to too soon. He started to speak, and that... That was what he was best at. Speaking. And it was when he was speaking that he could do anything, save anyone. But not this time. She wouldn't let him, because the alternative was that he would die. And she would not let him. So she spoke. She took his death from him, and she took his trick. In the end, she learned from the Doctor in the most important ways.
The words were still on her lips. Her last words. They were meant to be her last words. "Hush now, spoilers," she had said, she still tasted the words. She closed the connection as the timer ticked down. There would be no more running. And no chance for him to stop her, to take her place. Tears fell from her eyes as the world went white.
Energy filled her, used her, passed through her. She wouldn't scream. She refused. She wouldn't do that to him. Spoilers. Her last word, the last he would hear. He carried too much pain, he hated goodbyes. But she could give him this.
But when the white faded, she wasn't dead. She felt like she should be. She wasn't in the library. She was in a hallway in a space ship she didn't know. And she was alone. No Doctor. She hadn't done it. Or rather... he had. He had saved her somehow. And he could be dead himself for it. But the pain. Oh... the pain.
She was no longer wired into the chair. She was in her space suit, hands wrapped around her journal and her sonic. She had other things with her as well, but with the pain this was all she could feel. A worn leather journal. A Sonic screwdriver. And pain.
Professor River Song had done what she had to do. Perhaps somewhere in her mind she had always wondered if she would really do what needed to be done when it came down to it. throw herself in the way of a projectile to save him, yes. But when there was thought? When there was time for thought? She offered to give herself to save him, but hadn't she known, hadn't she always known that he wouldn't let her? That he would use the danger to her to do what he wouldn't when he had been the one at risk? She knew the Doctor. She loved the Doctor. Every form she had ever met, and the ones she only knew of as stories. She knew that to save everyone, he would give his life. Some days she didn't half wonder if he wanted to die. She didn't think she could ever love him enough to let him.
But when it was someone else taking the risk, then... ah then he would see another way clear. Another way out. Then he would come up with an impossible plan and pull it off. He did so hate to lose. So, somewhere back in the depths of her mind she wondered if she would ever have the courage not to say she was going to step between him and danger, and not to do it on instinct and emotion, but to stare death in the face and give herself to it to save him.
And now she knew. This time there was no hope for a crazy last minute plan. She knew that. And she knew he knew it. Because her journal was full. Because there was no time for another plan. For the two of them who treated space and time like a giant play yard... No. For her. For her there was no time left. So she did what she had to. She didn't say she was going to take his place, she didn't give him the chance to argue. She knocked him out, handcuffed him, and took his place. River Song worked at the controls.
But he came to too soon. He started to speak, and that... That was what he was best at. Speaking. And it was when he was speaking that he could do anything, save anyone. But not this time. She wouldn't let him, because the alternative was that he would die. And she would not let him. So she spoke. She took his death from him, and she took his trick. In the end, she learned from the Doctor in the most important ways.
The words were still on her lips. Her last words. They were meant to be her last words. "Hush now, spoilers," she had said, she still tasted the words. She closed the connection as the timer ticked down. There would be no more running. And no chance for him to stop her, to take her place. Tears fell from her eyes as the world went white.
Energy filled her, used her, passed through her. She wouldn't scream. She refused. She wouldn't do that to him. Spoilers. Her last word, the last he would hear. He carried too much pain, he hated goodbyes. But she could give him this.
But when the white faded, she wasn't dead. She felt like she should be. She wasn't in the library. She was in a hallway in a space ship she didn't know. And she was alone. No Doctor. She hadn't done it. Or rather... he had. He had saved her somehow. And he could be dead himself for it. But the pain. Oh... the pain.
She was no longer wired into the chair. She was in her space suit, hands wrapped around her journal and her sonic. She had other things with her as well, but with the pain this was all she could feel. A worn leather journal. A Sonic screwdriver. And pain.